African American Interest Books

So I am in Barnes and Noble today just browsing passing time and I come upon the "African-American Interest" section. I was kind of confused about what I saw because the only books I saw were books relating to sex and violence. Now, had the title been African American Authors, there would be no problem BECAUSE the authors were African American. But African American INTEREST. Now, had there been other books in here like some Octavia Butler or Walter Mosely or something like that there wouldn't be an issue.

Now behind that "African American Interest" section, was a section that had non-fiction books by African American authors, but I can't remember. Where were the other countless authors who write fiction or science fiction... not just the Arabesque Romance authors?

I LOVE when I go into stores like Marcus Books (Bay Area regional black bookstores) and Karibu Books (DC regional black bookstores). They have such a variety of books by black authors... books you never would have seen in a mainstream store like Barnes and Noble or Borders. This is not to say that they don't have some, because they do, but not the assortment that I like.

Also, I am sooo proud to say that Karibu books actually has a STORE now in Pentagon City Mall... not just a little cart. The store was small yes, but it had lots of books... and not just sexually explicit books, books of substance. Making progress.

Don't forget to visit your local black bookstores... they needs the support.

Best Video EVER

Uncouthness

Apparently, having a perm or somewhat texturized hair makes one uncouth. This MUST be the reason for the Racial Divide. It all is so very clear to me. LOL. Taking Sen. Biden's words completly out of context here for entertainment purposes... perms make blacks looks dirty and forces them to be "inarticulate".

On a serious note, why would he think that these comments were OK to say. He meant them as compliments, but seriously, you just took a boo boo on all the other black people who have tried.

Weatherford BMW Sucks

Yeah, don't go to Weatherford BMW... they suck.... as indicated in the title. I bought a used car from them about six months ago and I have already had to have it towed twice.... TWICE. Yeah, and it wasn't even an old car... it's a 2001. The first time was a little less than month after I bought it... the coolant socket had blown and it was spewing coolant everywhere... they told me it was unsafe to drive, so I had to tow it. Second time, was last night... I had a flat tire. Yeah, that was nobodies fault. But wait! There's more! I look in my trunk to put the spare tire on.... and there is no spare. They sold me a car with no spare tire. What the hell? Are you serious? You just don't do that. AND they said it was already in there. That is sooo uncool. So I had to get the car towed back to my house.

I think I got sold a baby lemon. The check engine light won't go off although there is nothing wrong with my engine. The grill came out and I had to gorilla glue it back in. There were some other things, but the only thing that saves my car is it is a Black 2001 BMW 325ci.... so it looks HOT, but it is a piece of dook. I love it, but they sold me a handicapped car. In the words of the Geico caveman.... NOT COOL.

That Hippity Hop

I had a freaking flat tire yesterday and because I live in the boonies, I have no way to get to work, so I am sitting at home listening to music since nothing is on TV. Today, I am East Coast Lyrical Hip-Hop.

Now, like I have said many times... I am not the biggest fan of mainstream music.... especially the new stuff that is on the radio now. However, I have always been and probably always be a fan of East Coast Lyrical Hip-Hop, especially like Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Lupe Fiasco, Common and the like. I even like more mainstream East Coast Lyricists like Nas and somewhat Jay-Z.

I love it when people have nice beats and have words to go with the beats. Anyone can produce a nice beat, but it takes an artist to make you hear the words too. It is very easy to block nonsense out, but it's harder to block meaning out. Why does it seem like the only region that has important to say is the East Coast, namely New York? Seriously though.... West Coast is about getting high and parting and Down South is about partying and strip clubs. Now I am not saying that some East Coast rappers don't rap about this stuff because they do, but it isn't what they are known for. Anyway, I digress, I was trying to say that I think people just don't make meaningful lyrics because they are just in it for the money and chicks. People don't get into the game to be heard anymore, they get in it for the fame... this has got to change people.

Also, they WAY one spits over the beat is very important. I think what is also lacking today is the fact that these new school rappers have no signature style... better yet, no style at all. People like Nas, Mos Def, Jay-Z, Busta Rhymes, and dare I say, even Too Short (lol) all have distinctive ways that they flow OVER beats... not with the beats. If you took out each persons distinctive voice intonation and just listen to the way that they set up words you could tell who it was. These new school people just seem to get lost in the beats... the beat just overtakes what they are saying because there is no thought behind the process.

Wouldn't Get Far

So, I just saw The Game's new video for, "Wouldn't Get Far". Now, I must admit, even though The Game isn't my favorite artist, I like this song. One, because the beat is hot and two because he is speaking the truth. The song is basically saying if these video hoes weren't out there relating these men.... they would be nowhere, thus, "Wouldn't Get Far". I mean, he coulda used a little more tact and less of the B word, but hey, it is what it is. AND he uses examples... I love it. But what I find really interesting is that he does use names to bust these chicks out. Yeah, everyone know what they do, but it's more "on the low". Yeah, he pulled a Karrine Stephans, GREAT!!!!!!

But what I am tripping about is.... did these chicks even listen to the song before they agreed to be in it? The song is pretty much boo booing all over video hoes... and yet there are STILL video hoes in the video!!!!! I mean, if someone was talking ish about track athletes, I would not be up in the video triple jumping.... it just wouldn't happen. What kind of self respecting person would do that though. Is the need to be on TV and be seen THAT strong that you would show your face while someone is disrespecting you???? Dizzam, not even that serious. Hella smiling in the video and stuff like everything is OK.

Oh yeah, I am not saying that everyone that dances in videos are hoes, because they aren't. A small portion of them are ACTUAL dancers, who aspire to do great things in their lives, not just be in the new Lil Jon video. LOL. Like Celestina, the chick that was in Prince's, "Black Sweat" video. She is a really good dancer and that is what she has a passion for. She wasn't all up in the video hella nasty rubbing on Prince and stuf... she was straight.

Conclusion: Video hoes are silly people.

Huh?

Parties are the way to social justice.
- Jus Rhyme.

He he he.... Then I suppose I should go out more then huh.

PS... that was from VH1's ego trip's White Rapper Show. He He.

Potter Releases

I am a little uncomfortable that the new Harry Potter book and the fifth movie are supposed to be coming out within a week of each other. I think it is a bit too much. Don't get me wrong, I thought the book was supposed to come out in 2008, so when I heard it was coming out in six months, I was very excited.

Just not sure how to react to all this Harry Potter news going on.

BOOOOOOOO

Learning is fundamental. I have always been an avid fan of getting my erudition on. I have only just realized in the past week that I can have all the fun learning whatever is in a book or whatever a teacher tells me to learn, but when it comes to learning about myself.... I have issues.

I thought I knew a lot about myself before going on my trip, however, I have just realized that what I do know is very limited. I know what I like and what I don't like, but I have no idea who I am on the inside. It hurts to say this, but I almost feel as though I am the same person as when I graduated from high school.

I have also learned that when it comes to people telling me about myself... I do not know how to take it. It is the most painful thing to have someone that you know and respect tell you about yourself. Yes yes, I know that it is necessary to have others (especially those that you care about and who care about you) to tell you things they see, but it still hurts. It just sucks to have someone remind you that you are no where near the person that you want to be and that you can be.

Also, I have always prided myself on being a step above most other people in the intellect and wit department. I have somewhat used this to seperate myself from others, well I wouldn't say seperate, but I have used it as a sort of barrier. Especially with guys, I just mentally run over them with no question, which leaves me in control. But how can you grow if no one challenges you? Over my trip in DC, I actually WAS challenged by someone from the opposite sex and I didn't even know how to react to it and kinda fell apart and morphed into some wierd being that is soooo not me. LOL. I have no way of relating to guys without flirting to establish control... and I need to stop that.

Conclusion: I am 23 and need to do something about myself soon.

Harry Potter Gone Wild?

SO Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter is participating in a play called, "Equus". This is about a young man that has a sexual obsession with horses. If this isn't enough, this film requires him to be on stage naked. So what's the big deal? There are all these angry parents talking about he shouldn't be doing this and blah blah blah. Come on now. Dude is 17 years old, he is growing up, let him freaking be. I mean, if he was 14 I could kinda see where the problem would be. Let him do him, it's not like he is doing it in Harry Potter garb. And if you don't want your children to see it, don't let them see it. It is that simple.

He's 17, it's not like he is going to stay asexual Harry Potter for ever.

It's called common sense. GET A LIFE.

Revisions, Revisions, Revisions

OK, I believe that I am going to have to take back a comment that I made in this post. I like one more song on Justin Timberlake's album... Lovestoned is kinda hot. Mainly because of the beat... Timbaland gets it with the beats. I judge songs if they make me dance in the car, and this one made me do a little something in the seat, so I had to renige my previous assessment.

Onto the second revision.... this post. Tango is not the hottest, it is soooo all about Real right about now. That mo fo is so freaking fine it isn't even funny. It doesnt matter that he looks like he is about 5'6... he could get it to the 5th degree. Seriously though, I don't think I have thought someone on TV was this fine since Patrice on Road Rules in like 5th grade. LOL. Oh memories. I don't know if it is Real's hair, or his mouth (his lips always look really succulent), or his hands (which look mighty mighty nice), or those cheekbones, but it is something. I came upon this realization because he is getting more screen time and looking gooooood.

I wanna see what Real and Chance's parents look like cause they produced two fine ass mother freakers OK!!!

And why is Tango starting to act like a little poontang? Im saying. He's still fine, but he lost some points when he was trying to justify telling on Onix. Dude, you know the only reason you told was to get him eliminated... be real and just admit it. Don't try to make up this bullish about why you did it.

Conclusion: Your fine levels can vary depending on your attitude. You do something silly, you get unfine. You let your mane down and start licking your lips, you get super fine, and quick.

R Kelly

You know, I am not quite sure how to feel about R. Kelly. Actually, I am sure, but I feel like I should feel guilty or something. I am not going to lie. R. Kelly is one crazy mother freaker, however I still like his music. R Kelly has something that few people have. He has the ability to make any song that he is on a hot song.

First example, "Make it Rain" by Fat Joe and Lil Wayne. I did not like this song until I went to DC and heard a mix with him on it. Since Cali is so extra slow, I had not heard it yet. But I really like it. He takes a messed up phrase like, "I make it rain on them hoes" and turns it into something catchy that you want to say.

Second example, "Promise" by Ciara. R Kelly saves this song. I refused to listen to this song... but once again, I heard this remix in DC and I love it.

Conclusion, songs suck without R Kelly.

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Update 1/30: I was just listening to, "Make It Rain" remix and came upon another conclusion. It is not a good thing when a remix of a song sounds like 10 times better. Fat Joe's verse is SOOOOO whatever. I don't know if I am being biased because I don't even like Fat Joe, but it is so true. Even this new person's (I can't remember his name) verse is hotter than Fat Joe.

The Flavor of New York????

Yeah, I am pretty sure that I am not the first to say this but "I Love New York" is the most unoriginal show I have ever seen in my life. If a few of the guys on that show weren't so fine, I would not watch it. The writers and producers of the show obviously were taken from the Flavor of Love because it is so similar. They even have New York trying to act like Flavor Flav. For instance, when she was trying to console whiteboy, she was talking in the slow, deeper "kind and caring" voice that Flavor Flav used when he was trying to be deep. They have her conducting the elimination ceremony the same. Everything is the same man.

That being said, I can't stop watching it because of the guys. Number one, four of them are absolutely FINE. OK. FINE. Chance, Tango, Real, and Onix could all get it OK. Seriously. Chance, even though he has that big ass gap in his teeth, is really cute. Even though he is a wanna be thug, he dresses nicely. Not too much sag, but just enough to let em know. And he had a nice body for a twiggy person. Tango, yeah I don't even know where to start. But it is definitely a battle of the finest between him and Chance. Tango has BODY, just straight body, and a nice smile. And his color is nice, not too light but not T-Weed style or anything. The only reason why Tango is not first on the hotness list is because I saw this picture of him on myspace and he was in a pose where it looked like he had cleave. Men are not supposed to have cleave, I mean muscles are nice, but when it looks like you have straight cleave, there is a problem. Real gets it with the hair. Yes, it is a bit disconcerting that his hair is nicer than most females, but it is just so pretty. And his facial hair is kinda nice too. He also just seems like a genuinely cool guy who lives a chill lifestyle. Finally Onix. He has a better body than Tango as far as I'm concerned because he has pecs, but they don't look like cleavage. The only reason why he is at the bottom of the list is because he seems like he has no personality.

And Number two, I am convinced a number of them are gay. T-Weed, Wood, 12 pack, and possibly Heat. T-Weed was so obvious to me... and I am sorry this seems politically incorrect but, the way he drags out his words is very homosexual to me. Wood posed nude on gay websites, need I say more. And 12 Pack and Heat are gay with each other, end of story.

PS. Why she get rid of Bones though? He is probably the best overall guy there. Young educated Christian brother. I guess the good guys don't win. The majority (not me!!) of black women don't want the nice/good guys, they want the thugs. How do you eliminate someone because they are "too nice"? And Pootie was kinda cute, but the skydive down the stairs and subsequent eight year old squeal lost him all potential points.

And why doesn't whiteboy shave... he has those nasty looking patches of hair all on the side of his face and his neck. Very ew.

Ideas v. Reality

I personally think ideas of things are better than reality, or in most cases. Sometimes, you can build a picture in your mind of something but when you are confronted with the reality of it, it is not as good as you imagined it to be. This goes for people especially. But you know, it doesn't take away from what the person is, it just kinda sucks when you build someone up to be something and then they are sooo not that thing.

Onto better news, I just got back from DC and I had sooo much fun. I visited four schools; loved two and really disliked two others. I went by myself and it was an experience that I needed. I walked every where and Metroed like a pro. It was great. I learned that I can be self-sufficient. I also learned that I need to grow up a bit, which relates to the first paragraph. Being in CA under my parents has really stifled me in regards to my personal growth. That is why I applied to no California law schools because as much as I love them, the only way for me to grow is to be out from under them.

All and all, it was a great trip except for the last day. LOL. I learned a lot about myself and what I need to work on and actually it has helped my relationship with my boyfriend to because I sorted out some personal mind issues. Which is always a good thing. I wasn't ready to come home, but at some time the dream stops and we wake up.

Rise

No, this is not a post about rising above oppression (although we must... lol) and this is not a post about the independent movie by Dave LaChapelle about LA krump dancing. This is about the song by the great trumpet player Herb Alpert.

This song is an absolute classic right here.... almost as much as Quincy Jones', "Tell Me A Bedtime Story". Biggie actually sampled HEAVY from this song for, "Hypnotize". The entire bassline actually. If that doesn't jog your memory... then it is the "Laura and Luke" song... I shouldn't have to explain anymore than that.

This saxophonist did a cover of it in 1998.. Leo Gandelman. He did it with this kinda party Brazilian flair and it is absolutely hotness. I've heard it before, but I could never find out who made it. But thanks to my nifty new radio, it tells who the artist is. I was just listening to KKSF on my way home from work and I heard it... GREATNESS. Not the same as Herb Alpert's, but it is still VERY good.

I always wonder why this song doesn't get any play. It's not on Rhapsody nor iTunes. Is it BECAUSE it is the "Laura and Luke" song and there might be some negative feelings attached to it? I just don't get it, this song has so much attitude and funk it's not funny.

This is OUR country?? WTF??

I mentioned this in the last post and it made me start thinking I need to elaborate. I really don't like John Mellencamp's, "This is Our Country". At first, I didn't like it because I simply don't like country music and they played it at EVERY commercial break. Then I started not liking it because there are NO black people in that commercial. This is the middle-America thinking that I was talking about that I really don't like. Even the twang in this guys voice just screams out middle-American white person to me. And the fact that he is saying, "This is our country"... who's country exactly are you talking about? You obviously aren't talking about my country because I see no black people in that commercial. All I see are dirty hick ass looking people.

The fact that they are so adamant in saying, "This is our country" really offends me. So what are you trying to say? That it isn't my country too. I mean really. I just don't like the mentality. And why did they have to use the word, "DIXIE". They coulda said something else. I just did not like that.

Why did the FCC think that it was OK to put this commercial on the airwaves? No, there was no violence, sex or bad language in there... but to me, it was what wasn't there AND the fact that there were subtle messages in there.

This is like some underhanded white pride anthem that they tried to sneak in there... not having it. "and the ones who run this land" WTF does THAT mean??

Obama v.Clinton

First off, to CNN, I know Obama and Osama are very similar in spelling, but really? Mistake the two. Not the hottest move to ever make.

Second, so... it looks as though it will be Sens. Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton and John Edwards in it for the Democratic primary in 2008 (thank goodness... it came around faster than expected), who is likely to win. Actually, we need to take John Edwards out of the picture and focus on Obama and Clinton.

The answer to this question is simple. Who does white America, specifically "This is our country" white people (that hickish song by John Mellencamp that they played during every commercial during ever football game this season) hate more NOW, women or black people. Now, being that I fall into both of these demographics, I believe that I can comment on this. Out of the two, I believe Hilary would win, cuz come on, a black man running the United States of America would create so much havoc it isn't even funny. Yes, I believe that a women running the USA would create some issues, but I am pretty sure that the KKK and all kinds of backwood militia like those on the first episode of Dave Chappelle would not be coming out of the woodwork like they would if a black man won the presendcy.

We also have to look at his name. Barack Hussein Obama???!!! Is there any more of an ethnic name than that? I mean really. It just spells different, and Americans have a strong distaste for different. First, the name sounds Muslim... and Americans are STILL having some strong emotions toward Muslims. In addition, Obama sounds like Osama... even CNN made that mistake. Adding fuel to the fire, his middle name is Hussein!!!! LOL. Could it get anymore ironic. I mean really. Aside from sounding Muslim, it just sounds foreign, and I don't believe that some people would like for a "foreigner" to be running their country.

Onto the black thing. When I was writing this, I got to the part about him being Muslim and realized that he IS indeed half white. The fact that I forgot this signals to me that it will be very easy for others to forget that he is part white, and some probably don't even know. It's not like this guy is just straight NEGRO, but I don't think that will make a difference.

As for Hilary, I don't know how that would go over either though. Any little "mistake" she makes or if even the smallest thing goes wrong if she was in office would cause uproar too. Men would think that women can't do the job and blah blah blah.

Any change in the "status quo", how American has lived for centuries, is going to bring about some massive upheavals and issues beyond belief... soooooo.....

Edwards will win.

'Round Midnight

Round Midnight, originally done by Thelonius Monk, is by far (in my humble opinion), the best jazz track ever to be laid down. Why? It isn't too complication in the fact that so many different instruments are going on, but it is still carries very complicated melodies.

The best version is MOS DEF Miles Davis and the Modern Jazz Giants version. The Modern Jazz Giants combines my three favorite Jazz artists; John Coltrane, Miles Davis, and Thelonius Monk himself. This version is just plain and simply sexy. That is the only word that I can use to describe it. It has a very high class sound to it that reminds me of old time clubs where people would dress up to the nines and stuff. Just straight class... that is what I imagine whenever I hear this song.

It is just absolutely beautiful.

Really Dave Chappelle?

There was nothing on television, so I was just switching channels and happened to stumble across, "Iconoclasts" on the Sundance channel. This episode was Dave Chappelle interviewing Maya Angelou. Like I said, there was nothing on, so I decided to stay. The first thing I noticed was that Dave Chappelle was acting like he was high on something. Not drunk... but high. So I continue to watch because at this point, I think it is funny. After about 10 minutes, I realize he is not high... he is simply in awe.

It was actually a great show because there were two very non-mainstream thinkers conversing on a "human" level. It was cool, because they are fifty years apart, but you could see the connection they had. I think everyone should watch it.

"Life as a linear journey"....

Four Hands?

Man, I am on a roll today. My arm and head were hurting so I took a Tylenol PM and I am soooo sleepy, but it is also like I can't go to sleep right now.

So I am listening to Keiko Matsui and Bob James', "Altair and Vega". "Altair and Vega" is done using four hand piano which is an interesting style. It's crazy to hear two pianists of that quality doing a beautiful pieces like this and KNOWING that they are using the same piano, at the same time. This effect can be achieved through special effects and things of that nature, but knowing that these two are playing this together at the same time is something special.

The piano is not a big instrument (well it is, but not when two people are using it), so it is amazing that they are producing this piece. The way they are melding together is absolutely amazing.

The Land of the Crazies

OK, so I have been working at my current job for six months now... and honestly, I love (or loved) it. Now that my buddy is gone, it has been a little more stressful... and I will tell why... NOW.

Ok, last Thursday, they got a temp to come in. Everytime someone new comes into the office, the HR manager (who is mad cool and chill) sends out a copy of their resume to everyone. So I am reading her resume and I notice that she has been working since 1992. Not bad, but I just take note that she is going to be a great deal older than me, since in 1992, I was in 2nd grade. Anyway, the second thing I notice is that she stated that she had some kind of a typing certificate. I didn't know exactly what that was, so I just left it alone.

That night, I was going to hang out with my boyfriend, so he picked me up from work. I was just telling him that I was sad to see my friend go and that a new lady would be coming in and that she might be old. Then I told him about the typing certificate, which he agreed was rather odd. Who does that.

Fast forward to Thursday,I come in and she is sitting at the front desk... formalities are exchanged and I put my stuff on my desk. I come back out to the reception desk* to speak with her and I notice there are pieces of paper all over the desk. Scratch that, not paper, but tissues. Long story short, that day did not go well... she said she self medicates, she leaves snotty rags everywhere, she is OCD and ADD and any other "D" you could possibly think of. She is a bonefide crazy lady. I can't even go into serious details right now because that would take up way too much typing.... and I do not have the time or energy to be worried about her more than I already am.

But all I am saying, is that there is something wrong when you are upwards of fifty and you are still working temp. Yes, I understand that some situations may require this, but being a permanent temp signals a problem. That means that no one wants to keep you around because of something you are doing. And I think I have a notion of what exactly that is. She has no freaking manners or social skills. Like I said, she leaves tissues everywhere and hawks all in public and blows her nose right next to people and every other nasty thing you could image. I told her she could eat her lunch at my desk since food is not allowed at the reception desk**. Anyway, so she left her nasty food on my desk and said she was saving it... just all in the open. She didn't even try to cover it up. And the social skills are lacking too... the lady has been there and she is trying to take things over. I mean seriously, relabeling stuff and everything, I had to lay the law down a couple of days about that. And she mocks people like when they have no relationship at all. It's BAD.

She has been a big pain... she doesn't follow directions and doesn't really have social skills. However, I feel bad for her because there is a reason that all of this occurs in her. I just don't understand what is lacking where people just aren't aware of what is going on around them

It is just overall not cool.

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*Let me clarify by stating that I am in a Office Support/Research Support position, which means that I do preliminary research for the company as well as any administrative work if needed.
** I cover the front desk when she is at lunch and on break.

DC Trippin

I am not talking about the smoking ban, because I am quite in favor of that. I actually think that EVERY STATE, COUNTY, whatever should do this. If you want to kill yourself with those cancer sticks, then you do so, but don't make me sit her and suffer just because you want to "release". I am straight off that. That's the only thing that I have enjoyed being in CA for the last three years... I didn't have to deal with going to a club and coming home smelling like an ashtray. It's not hot and does not get it. Sorry.

So the reason I am writting this post is because I will be going to DC really soon to check out some law schools and I am really excited. Thus DC... Trippin. Ha. I am going BY MYSELF... which is exciting for me because I can follow my own schedule. I never visited the monuments or anything of that nature and I am really excited about doing that for the first time.

Side Note: I decided not to visit University of Maryland, Baltimore. There has been 10 murders in B-More since Jan 1, 2007... it is Jan 11, 2007... there is an issue here. It's really not cute guys. Let's BE REAL.

By the way, NW hotels are so freaking expensive, it isn't even cool. But whatever. That's what you gotta do to up the lessen your chances of being a statistic. That sounds so bad to write that, but it is true.

Buddy

Just thinking, but I am pretty sure that anyone can fall in love with anyone. Seriously. I figure since you can pretty much become friends with anyone... even someone who you usually wouldn't be friends with... why couldn't you do the same with love?

This came to mind because my co-worker left last Friday and I was soooo hurt. It isn't even funny. We work in the same department and were pretty much around each other from 10-5 from M-F for six months. We developed this friendship and it was actually pretty strong. And not the kind of friendship that I have with EC, but a good solid buddy buddy type relationship. This may not seem like anything, but the guy is a chubby Filipino guy. When I was in K-8, my best friends were Asian girls, but since then, I haven't really developed a close relationship with one, even my Sophomore year roommate and I had a cordial type existence and nothing more. And I have never had any friends that were Asian GUYS.

But the point is, that I became really good friends with this guy and I was really sad to see him go. I never thought that I would be able to have any kind of relationship with an Asian dude (but are Filipino's really Asian... I mean really. lol) , but I have been more than proven wrong. Which brings be to my subsequent point... then shouldn't any person be able to fall in love with any other random person? I figure since I used to be very selective in who I became friends with...and I became good friends with this dude, then anything is possible right?
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And on topic with the title of the post, what is up with Musiq Soulchild making all of these songs about being friends and buddies and platonic relationships that really aren't platonic. I mean, does that get it? He must have used that line back in the day when it was actualy believable. Do females really respond to line of junk now? And why can't he just admit what he wants, trying to hide behind that buddy facade... it's just horrible.. be real with your life Musiq.

I will admit however, that I do like the song... maybe it is the beat... it kinda sounds like the, "Summertime" beat.

The Promise Ring Song?

Is Justin Timberlake's, "My Love" a song about asking someone to be their girlfriend, or asking someone to marry him, or about giving someone a promise ring? I know this song has been out for a good minute, but I was sitting in traffic today and actually listened to the lyrics for the first time instead of just the music. To me, it seems as though he is talking about all three. First I get him saying what he imagines him and this girl doing. OK, to me, the stuff he is talking about, holding hands and walks on the beach, all that seems like you would do that before you get married. So I assumed that he was talking about asking someone to be his girlfriend. Then he goes on to say, "This ring here represents my heart"???? WTF?

I think Justin Timberlake has gone back and channeled his Mickey Mouse Club days and is asking some chick to be his girlfriend by giving her a promise ring. LOL. Greatness.

Night At the Museum

I must mention... at the ending credits, Dick Van Dyke was getting it when he was dancing. Mickey Rooney and Bill Cobbs were OK... but Dick Van Dyke was GETTING IT. The guy is 81 years old and was dancing so fluidly it was ridiculous. That's how I want to be when I get 81. No, that's how I want to be when I am fifty.

Anyway, I am not exactly sure why, but I am a hugh Ben Stiller fan. So much so that I think I have seen every movie he has done since, "Heavyweights". I know his style of comedy is a bit repetitious, but it is funny to me nonetheless. Anyhoo, it was a good movie overall... although I don't really think it was a kids movie (who it was intended for). For most of the funniest parts, none of the kids laughed, it was only the adults.

The only bad thing about the movie to me was that it was a bit historically inaccurate. Everyone knows that in the times of the building of the pyramids and such, the Egyptians were "closer to" Africans than to Middle Easterns. Yes yes, I am well aware that Egypt is in Africa, thus, ipso facto, Egyptians were Africans, but that is not the context that I am using it in. Egyptians had darker skin at that period of time.. basically. Anyway, they made an Egyptian prince looked like he was straight out of Persia... which really bothered me... but whatever.

Overall, a pretty good movie.

It will come back to you...

The song Peg by Steely Dan is so catchy it isn't even funny. The beat just gets it. I think that early nineties group Arrested Development semi sampled the song for one of their songs. Anyway, it really isn't talking about anything except how this girl (Peg) is going to become a big star one day, but the song just makes me happy. Nice and upbeat. That is all

Octavia Butler

Octavia E. Butler has become one of my favorite writers over the past two years. Her books, while often disturbing, have an element in them that touches you. Octavia Butler was an African American Science Fiction/feminist writer, which come few and far between. Well, maybe not science fiction but speculative fiction, but who really wants to split hairs about that sort of thing.

The first book I read by hear, Parable of the Sower was actually on accident. I was in Barnes and Noble, and I randomly came across the book which was in the wrong section. The cover was a really pretty blue and had a girl on it who seemed like she was about my age. I couldn't find a book that I wanted, so I gave this book a try. The book was about this girl whose city was ripped apart and had to voyage across the country with her new "tribe". The book was great... I wasn't quite sure what it was that I liked about it, but I figured I would give her another try, so I read the sequel, Parable of the Talents.

The third book I read was Kindred, which is about a black woman who is transported back to the times of slavery. Once again, when I finished this book, I wasn't sure why I liked it, but I did.

The fourth book I read was Bloodchild and other stories. It was with this book that I figured out what I liked about Octavia Butler's writing. She is able to convey human emotions better than anyone that I have ever read (and I have read a lot of books).

This was especially pertainent in the fifth book I read from her, Wild Seed. This book is about two immortal beings who basically can't get away from each other; one heals and the other kills. But because they are immortal... they can only have each other. It is actually kind of wierd because you end up rooting for the being that kills to give into the other being because she really loved him. It was just a rollercoaster of emotions that you are taken on with her books... and I acually like it.

I am now on Lilith's Brood, which is a complication of three books Dawn, Adulthood Rites, and Imago. We'll see how I feel about these books later

I feel mouth blabber coming on...

I have been having a really wierd week. Instead of stressing out about the LSAT, I am now tripping off of my personal statement. They give you two pages double spaced, which in actuality in one page to write about yourself and convince them as to why they should accept you. I just need a page more... actually, just give me half a page more and I could do wonders. It's just really difficult to try to be detailed about yourself, but still concise.

Anyway, so for the first time yesterday... I actually had fun at a California club. Wow... I never thought that would happen. Usually all of the clubs here are either way too uppity (as in the dudes only dance with the white and asian chicks... also the chicks of questionable ethnicity too) or way too grimey (as in gold teeth and dirty looking locks). But I went to a place that was two blocks away from where I used to live and it was actually fun, I was pleasantly surprised.

Living at home with the parents is not fun... even though I don't have to pay rent anymore. I just can't stand the fact that my dad tries to make me feel guilty about seeing my boyfriend. I wanted to stay over to his house tonight, but no, my dad was going to freak, so I said no... though I really wanted to. I am just tired of not being able to do what I want... or feeling guilted into doing things... it is "so not the business".

That job in DC is really looking attractive right about now...

Crossroads

I am not talking about the nasty (explicative) dining hall at Cal... or the janky (explicative) club in Bladensberg/Hyattsville. I am talking about the crossroads of my life. WTF am I supposed to do right now? Huh? You tell me. I got a decent score on my LSAT... should have been so much better but I so effed up on the Reading comp... who gets 50 percent on the reading comp??? I mean really. Anyway, now I have to wait until March to really know where I am going. So what the freak am I supposed to do with my time until I start school in August? I am not about to keep working where I am now as a "General Office Assistant/Research Supporter"... that job was OK when I was studying for the LSAT's and all, but not now. It is just not cute any more.

Now, I could take this job in DC where I would be basically doing event management/ logistical coordination for various conferences. They would pay for my room and board and I would get $750 per week. OK, now tell me that is not hot. I do know that it would be a lot of work, but I am sure that it would be a good experience for me. Oh yeah, and it is actually in Chevy Chase, MD... very good neighborhood so I wouldn't be scared of taking the Metro places.

I kinda don't want to go for a couple of reasons... the boyfriend... and the parents. If I go, my boyfriend is going to be mad and break up with me... and I know my parents will miss me.

Yeah, I know you should not base your decisions on other people, but they are very important people to me.

Transport

I was in my car, sitting outside of Circuit City last Sunday and I was listen to 103.7. On Sunday morning, they switch the music to New Age as opposed to Jazz. Anyhoo, I was listening to it, and I heard this song that sounded kind of familiar. As I am listening to it... I suddenly remember where I heard this song... it was in FIFTH grade. We used to have quiet reading time, everyday for about an hour and my teacher would play this mixed CD of New Age music so we would be able to better concentrate. What is really wierd about this, is that I when I hear the song, I mentally went back to the BOOK I was reading... Where The Red Fern Grows.

WIERD.

Anyway, it is a really nice song, George Winston, "Thanksgiving". Very relaxing.

See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin'!!!!

"Well (pronounced while) you know it Christmas, and my heart is open wiiiiide!!!" This is the funniest thing that I have seen Saturday Night Live put out in a long time. I mean seriously, this is straight comedy. I decided to put it up here because I have a feeling the FCC is going to take issue with it. He He He. Justin Timberlake gets mad points for this.



PS... I'm mad the song is catchy too... I've been singing it all day.
--
Update 1/11: And I was right... they did take my thing down. SO not coo.

Dizzam

Alot has gone on since I last wrote in here. I moved home, and I am both happy and sad. I am happy I don't have to pay rent anymore and can save up for law school... but I am still sad that I have to kind of leave my boyfriend out in the cold. It has been a really hard week for the two of us. He completly broke down a couple of times because he is also going through a lot with his lack of car and everything. Anyway, we almost broke up on Wednesday because he felt so betrayed by me, but he came to his senses. Anyway, we also had some issues because he read something that I read in this blog about anyother dude being sexy and he really didn't like that. But, he found an apartment with the person he was living with before me, he is getting a car when he goes back home, and he is now a manager at Circuit City which gave him a five dollar raise which is pretty good. So luckily thing are looking up.

I have realized somethings, I really do love him, I just don't do NOT want to lose myself or my dreams in him. I really want to be with him, I just don't want to become complacent and lose myself. I mean I really truely love that man, and I now that he really truely loves me too... it is just kind of difficult because we are BOTH at a turning point in our lives right now. I believe that we can make it... but honestly, it is not going to come with tears. But I do love him.

PS... I miss holding him at night the most. Smelling his back and kissing it... But I can still go over to his house when he gets it all fixed up.

Glossary

This is going to be an ongoing post. I know I have my own kind of language, and I am actually quite fond of it. I have been making up words and languages ever since I first layed my eyes on, "Clueless" (1995). It did wonders for my mental vocabulary creativity....

Be Real: a command to be realistic about a certain situation. circa 2002 (MD). Are you serious right now? Let's be real with our lives.

Not even a little bit(?): Usually used in response to a quick shut down. circa 2003 (Dave Chappelle). P1: Um, you need to stop. P2: Really? Not even a little bit???

Uh, yeah...no: a rejection of a premise by alluding to the fact that you may agree, then quickly turning around and rejecting it. circa 2001.

How bout no: a quick rejection of a premise. circa 2003

Not really: a quick rejection of a premise. circa 2000

Or Not: circa 2004

I'm sayin though: circa 2002

Not cool: circa 2004 (Geico Caveman Commercials)

Maybe you should do a little research... circa 2006 (Geico Caveman Commericals)

Not haute: circa 2004 (Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie)

Extra haute: circa 2004 (Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie)

Trickadocious: circa 2006 (my sister)

Beezie: circa 2005 (CAL track)

All get out: circa 2003 (MD Gyals)

Not the business: circa 2006 (CAL track)

Durr: Duh....

So: Can be used in any and all circumstances

Mode: The way someone is acting. ie. He's on trip mode. She's on hyper mode.

Is that how it's done:

Dude:

Doable:

Fyah:

Update 12/26: I tried to finish it, but I really just cant

Am I Pootang-footing around here?

I have so many emotions going through my mind right now it isn't even funny. When my mind is not constantly occupied by something (i.e school, track, or LSAT) I think. And I am a very good thinker... it is quite possible that I am too good at thinking. Well, you can never quite be too good at thinking, but I think too much.

Right now, the issue that I am choosing to overanalyze is what... my relationship. The whole.. is this really what I want. Well I think so, but then I think again and I am like no, I don't want this. I think I need more emotionally than my boyfriend is willing to give me. And this is not to say that he doesn't love me, because I know that he does. I just think that he is too immature to share himself fully with me. I mean seriously, we have been together for three years, and he still refuses to tell me what he is feeling about certain things. I mean really. I tell him everything, even when I think that it may hurt him. Why. Because my relationship with him is based on trust and honesty and respect, and I want to always be honest with him. But the problem I am having with him is that I know that he is having "thoughts" about me... he told me...but he won't tell me what they are about. Gimme a freaking break, because if they were good thoughts, then he wouldn't have a problem telling me about them, so I know they are negative. And I am saying that if you are having negative thoughts about me and the relationship then I don't want to be with you and I will be the bigger person and pack my things (literally) and leave (hey the lease is up in nine days anyway). LETS BE REAL WITH OUR LIVES. Honesty is the only thing that I need from people and he is not being honest with me. I am too damn old for this. Seriously. I am 22 years old. And the thing of it is... I am not even old. I am for all intents in purposes, VERY YOUNG (but still old enough to do cool things).

Relationships for the most part, seem like more trouble than they are worth from my vantage point.

Back in the days....

I am in one of those reflective moods. I get in these moods alot. Actually, I usually get in these moods when I am procrastinating. Today, I am procrastinating writting my personal statement. It's not that I don't have anything to say, because I do have a lot of things to say... they need to know why I have such an interest in education policy... however, I am having trouble writting it in a way that is not angry, but still meaningful at the same time.

Anyway... so I am here listening to Asheru and Blue Black and the Unspoken Word and it is bringing me back to the best year of my life at the best school ever!!!! I mean seriously, that was the best year of my life... to be honest, the only thing wrong with it was the fact that I was 3000 miles away from my parents and I only saw them three times in 10 months. That was harsh. But otherwise... I grew more in that short year, that I have in the three years that I was at the other school. Well, actually, the growth was a different type of growth. I learned who I was, what I liked, what kind of people that I wanted to keep company with and things of that nature. At home... I reverted back to high school quick. Everything that I learned about myself from MD, went in the toilet. It was only until my senior year (last year), that I got over the depression and lived life for everyday, which is my motto now.

Anyway, I seriously can't remember a time that I was happier. I was by myself... learning things about myself that I never thought were in me. I tried more things with an open mind than I ever had (except for drugs and alcohol, let's be real with our lives.. that's not me and that will never be me). I can still remember, over winter break (yes I was at school over winter break, the track team had to be back on January 2nd) I went out 5 out of an 8 day week. Can you say... dizzam. And it was fun as hell. Before MD, I had not been to a club or a party that was outside of a school dance.

I also went to events... especially the ones at the cultural center. I went to BSU meetings, poetry readings (they were good... I remember there was this one guy, I don't remember his name, but he wrote so well about his life it was so moving people were crying and stuff... not me though.. you know how I do), step shows... errrthang.

Above all, what I miss about my experiance at Maryland were the people. I have never met more people that I got along with and that did not judge me in my life. I was cool with everyone on my track team and most black people in my class and the sophomore class knew of me (come on, I was the one of two black girls from california in my class). One of my friends I met there, I'll call her Eliza (not her name, but who puts real names on here), is still one of my best friends. Another guy friend and I have kept in contact and have actually grown closer even though we are seperated. I have never met more real people in my life.

I can remember the feeling that I had then. I didn't know what it was, but it was happiness. I was introduced to so many things... living in SNOW, just everything. Going to the diner for late night was a standard activity. It started with me, I would AIM, or call Eliza (it had to start with me because I lived the farthest away from the diner), then I would swing by her dorm which was next to mine. Then we would swing by the other dorm in our "quad" where our friends Fola and Zamp (not their names either...) lived and we would go to the diner to chill out from studying. This was a daily thing. Fun as all get out.

I remember the house (eff that apartment/dorm room) parties we used to go too. It would be so many people in there that it was scary, but we were having so much fun, it didn't even matter. I even met Juan Dixon at one of the parties (I was in love with that dude Senior year of high school). I remember one party at the courtyards, there were so many people in the little living room/apartment. We had heard earlier that day that this one chick wanted to fight this other chick over a dude or something of that nature. So me and the three other aforementioned girls were there dancing or whatever, and these girls just start fighting kinda in the corner. Ok, so they finished, and we thought everything was cool. No. Not even a little bit. Two other dudes started fighting and people start falling and somehow I got pushed up against a wall with a whole bunch of other people. I couldn't breath and stuff... and I see a whole so I go for it... bad idea. The guys start coming in my direction and I end up tripping over them and falling but I got out... there was hella screaming and stuff going on. So I'm outside (the party was on the fifth floor and I am outside at the bottem in a quickness) and I realized that my fast track behind left my friends... so I decide to take on for the team and go back to find them. So I am running back up the stairs when everyone in their right mind is running DOWN the stairs. I see Eliza and Fola and I'm like, "Where's Zamp?" And they are like, she is still inside somewhere. So we go inside.. still fighting, and where is she? She is on the couch watching these dudes beat each other up. She wasn't spectating, but she was on the couch hugged up to her knees rocking. She just froze. We were like, "Get your ass over here"... and we ran out... and as soon as we get out we hear sirens. Now at UMCP, they have a MO to arrest anyone they can find that is outside of a party to make examples out of them, so we had to run our little happy buts back to campus. NOT COOL (at that time, it's funny now).

Two more stories, then I am done remenicing. I remember it was time for me to get my hair braided for the first time in MD, and I didn't know where any BLACK hair supply stores were. So I go on yahoo and find that the "nearest" was in Laurel, which is 20 minutes away. So, like a dumbass, I follow these directions (didn't bother to ask anyone from my track team or anything). So I end up mad lost, in a not so good neighborhood. So unlike AC Transit, there is no number to call to ask about bus scheduling or anything. So I called my mom, because I was there for like 2 hours with no bus coming back. I was crying and junk all scared because it was getting late and my phone was dying and I didn't know how to get back. She yahoo mapped my way back. That was probably the most scared I have ever been for my life, but once again, when I look back on it, it is now funny, and I grew from it so it is all good.

Last story, I promise. So, I was sometime in February. Me and the three aforementioned friends are bored, so we decide to go to our all time favorite club... THE RITZ. It is no longer there due to fire safety issues and such. Anyhoo, anyone that went to black clubs in the DC area should know the ritz. It was grimey as hell, but the reggae room was off the "chizane". They had a total of three rooms... the B-More club room, the Hip-hop/Rap room, and finally, the reggae room. Anyway, so it was the last night the club was going to be open anyway so we decided to go. NOTE: IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SNOW. Anyway, so we get in there, HELLA people were in there and it was "popping". Anyway, so Fola was dancing with this dude, and this other dude tried to dance with her and the dudes started fighting. So I tap her, point to the door as a signal it was time to go and we all jet. So, at this point it is about 1:45, which was an early departure for us. So we get out the door and it is WHITE outside. It must have dropped four inches of snow in the three hours we were there. Long story short. We couldn't get a cab... we tried to stay at a the Marriot on 10th Street NW, but they were sold out. We went over to some unknown hotel, which looked like a ho motel, and our key broke off in the door. NOT a good sign. We finally found a cab, and it took 2 hours (on a normal day 30 minutes) to get back. Not a good night. But I was talking about it with Eliza a couple of days ago and we were rolling. To give you an idea of how bad it was, we were out of school due to incliment weather for the next four school days.

Those were the good old days.

You are extra not icey... thanks.

Music SERIOUSLY isn't what it used to be. And when I say "used to be", I don't mean 20 years ago (although I do mean that too), but just 4 or 5 years ago. So I am in the car, and "One Mic" comes on. This was only 5 years ago, but listen to this and listen to the junk that is on the radio today. Nas was actually saying things.... good and important things. And it isn't just what he was saying, but HOW he was saying this. I remember listening to this song in Senior physics class and talking to my friend about how this album was the best album ever, why... because it was deep to us. Fast forward 5 years which brings us to today... people like Nas are seriously no more. I mean you have your occasional record from Lupe Fiasco, maybe Talib Kweli, and Asheru.... but most of the junk is rapping about how tight someones bitch is... I mean really. Let's get it together.

The reason I decided to write this is because I heard that Young Jeezy, was on some radio station in Phily talking about how Nas is weak and hip hop is not dead. My whole take on it... Young Jeezy, trying to act like he is educated and knowledgable, got caught off guard and somehow worked his way into an argument where he started to equate hip-hop with music made by black people. Just because a black person makes a record and it is over a beat does NOT mean that it is hip-hop. According to my all time favorite resource... WIKIPEDIA... that is not hip hop. Young Jeezy said that because he has "street cred" (WTF!!!???) and Nas doesnt... Nas really isn't hip hop. OK, so you were a "Snowman" so you are more hip hop than one of the best artists in the hip hop genre. Give me a freaking break. Be real with your life.

Bureaucracy... Really though?

I ran track at one college for a year transfered to another school across the country and never really looked back... until a couple of days ago. The school that will remain unnamed... lets call it Easton school (don't get it twisted, the school I went to and the school that I graduated from were both D1 NCAA schools as well as Top 30 academic schools) was playing on TV and I saw in the student section their letter jackets. They were nice... I remember going to a track meet in New York the year after I transfered and I saw the letter jackets and thought they were nice, but since I was with the new school, I thought it would be somewhat inappropriate to get that jacket. But now that I have graduted and technically hold no allegiances to either school... I WANT THAT LETTER JACKET.

So I call what I think to be Easton schools athletic department and it's academic support who then transfers me to the track coach's phone number. This is a new coach who doesnt know who I am and it was quite awkward like... yeah, I only ran track on the team for a year and you don't know me, but I want my jacket. He said that he saw my name in the record... however because I was transfered, I would need approval from my old coach. I mean really, what am I supposed to do, call the old coach (who I REALLY didn't like) and be like, "Yeah, where's my jacket that you owe me from that one horrific track year where you made me gain 20 pounds and I was chronically injured and we got into arguments every day?"

Anyway, so I decided to email the Assistant Athletic Director in charge of Varsity Sports. I am just saying. I do want the jacket, but it is not extra crucial that I get it. HOWEVER, it is the principle. I shouldnt have to go through all of this. My name is there, I was there dammit. Look in the media guide. I scored points, gimme my jacket. Not even that serious. They just make rules to feel all important and stuff. It's really not cute. Not even a little bit.

Weffriddles

Ok, so anyone who likes riddles and who is fairly computer literate will LOVE weffriddles. It is kind of like an online treasure hunt/riddle thing. Well whatever it is, it is very fun and quite addictive. I've been on it for 2 days and am only on level 30 of 50. It really makes you think outside of the box... and since I have now become a freaking logic games genius... I like thinking outside of the box and deductivly... searching for clues and the like. It utilizes all aspects of computer use such as cut and paste... highlight function... jpeg, html, folders, naming... and other things that are not computer related. Anyway, it is cool.

It's back in style...

So what is up with all of these comedians using "the N word" like it is extra much in style... I mean really folks. Andy Dick tried to mock Kramer by going up on stage and saying "the N word", and then he comes out and says I am so sorry for saying it. I am just not understanding. There is something that is not quite right here to me. Is it cute to use racial slurs and then apologize for them? That makes it like it never happened right? Dude, I just don't get it. Some one, help me to understand. Please.

So I am sitting here on the eve of my LSAT... I can't even believe that it is already here to be honest. My plan was to do nothing today not to distract myself, so I went into Oakland to get my eyebrows done and then I went home and have been watching Grey's Anatomy ever since. I had never seen season one of the first half of season two, and I didn't think that I was missing anything, but everything makes a lot more since now. Anyway, the show as a whole kinda confuses me. Well it doesnt confuse me, but I don't understand how all of the people are so attractive... more to come.

OK, so here is the more to come, it is like 5 days after I started the post, but I got interrupted and I really didn't want to make another post. So anyhooooo...

I can't figure out why a good portion of the people on Grey's Anatomy are so attractive.... and in different ways. I mean seriously, none of them are ugly... some are just blah... but can you name another TV show where none of the main characters are ugly????

Let's be real with ourselves. I am usually not attracted to white dudes, but this show has three that could get it... McDreamy of course, McSteamy, and Karev.... they're extra hot. And of course in different ways. Well, Patrick Dempsey has always been hot... even in that movie when he was playing a 16 year old (he was really 22) who had like 2 wives or something. Anyhooo... and Karev got hot when I found out Justin Chambers was married to a black chick named Keisha. LOL.

Now, of course James Pickens (Chief )can get it.... I don't care if he is the same age as my mom.... he is one hot ass old dude. It's the salt and pepper beard. HOT. Now, as of two weeks ago, I would have said Isiah Washington was on the not hot list, but I just saw episode one last week and he was... I hate to say it... hot. They showed this one seen when his shirt was off and they kinda paned up..... yeah it was kinda nice. But then when he got hooked up with Christina and started acting like a little punk, he got unhot real quick.

Unhot list for the men... O'Malley... I'm sorry, he looks mousy.

Sorry, can't got into details with the females like that... but here's the list, but I must say that Kate Walsh (Addison)'s hair (which is not her natural hair color) just makes you stare at her...

Conclusion: Grey's Anatomy doesn't hire ugly people

Ok, so I just got done watching America's Next Top Model, and all I can say is.... WTF. Melrose looks like a dude. I am not one to talk about ugly people or whatever in regular life, but when people are putting that chick up like she is just so beautiful is absolutly ridiculous to me. No offense, but she looks like an absolute dude. I know that beauty is subjective and whatever, but she doesnt even look feminine to me. At most, she looks transvestitish in her pictures. Jada, who was "handsome" had boyish features, however, she ALWAYS looks like a girl. Melrose though, come ON.

Alma de Vita

So, I just downloaded a couple of songs from Paolo Rustichelli and I must say that he has a very unique style. He is classified as both Jazz and New Age (both of my favorites), but he also has a little bit of a Italian operatic voice. It's really wierd actually, but I like it. I think I likes him because his style is kinda like Philippe Saisse's... it's not something that you hear everyday on the radio. My favorite songs are Paisa (Mystic Man), Neopagan (Neopagan), Alma de Vita (Neopagan), and Sol (Neopagan). His music is really earthy, and it makes you feel good and in a way spiritual... not in the same way that gospel music or Christmas music might make you feel spiritual... but close to nature like. It's wierd.. I mean, just look at the few titles right there. Paisa means brother, Neopaganism is a religion that is kinda tied in with the earth, Sol is sun, Alma de Vita is kinda soul to life.

The only kind of disturbing thing about the music is he sings some of the vocals and his voice is really gruffy and somewhat operatic. It kinda disrupts the flow of the music sometimes, but it still is good.

Overall rate... 3 out of 5

Progression

Ok, so I have a feeling that I am going to be writting a lot today. First things first, LSAT is in 2 days... 2 days. One of the biggest standardized tests (next to the bar) that I will ever take in my life is in two days. I took off of work this week to get a lot of studying done and it seems as though it is actually working out. My practice test scores are going up because I realized how to finally do a reading comprehension question. YAY. You aren't supposed to actually read and understand the material, you just have to get the darn questions right. DUR. I mean seriously. I do feel a lot more confident, however I still feel like they are going to throw me some ridiculous logic games question and I am going to have NO IDEA how to do it. That is my ultimate fear.

Any way, so onto the more important things, Thanksgiving. My family couldnt figure out what to do for Thanksgiving, so we did the LCD and went to an old family friends house. I have known them since I was four. It was the first time that the girl would be back from grad school in NY, so I figured it would be interesting to see if she had changed. Me and the girl went to school together until 5th grade and kinda kept in touch, but our parents knew each other before, so they of course kept in touch. They always babied the girl because she is below average height (she doestn have dwarfism, but she is considered to be a LP). She also kinda had this thing about her... it was really hard to talk to her because she was so out of touch because her parents wouldn't let her live. And she was always kinda rounder. But anyway, so when I saw her, I was so surprised... she lost weight and she looked good. And we actually had good conversations and I didn't want to leave because we were having so much fun together. And her parents werent treating her like a damn baby. I was just so amazed how much she grew up in three months... we hadn't connected like that since 3rd grade because I always felt like we were just NOT on the same maturity level but my goodness, I could actually see her as being a friend.

OK, first of all, I'm not 100% in love with your tone

Now, on Geico caveman commercial four, I can't decide if the look is has while moving past the Caveman billboard was joy at seeing a caveman, or just like the, "Oh here we go again" look.

Last Random Post of the Day

So I'm on Rhapsody, and for some reason, I get into these moods where I just listen to all kinds of old music. So, for some reason, tonight I'm on Parliament Funkadelic, George Clinton, and ever other name they even served under. It made me start thinking about when I saw George Clinton in concert when I was in MD. That was the best concert I have ever been to in my life. It was outside and it was in Byrd Stadium... so it was ample dancing room on the field. It was a good amount of people there too, but there was also a Dru Hill concert that night, and you know people from Baltimore love them some Dru Hill. Anyhoo... I remember most vividly was Sir Nose... now I don't know if this was the same Sir Nose they used in the 70's or what, but he was still hot as hell. I don't care what anybody says. Me and my friends were just standing there watching him gyrate and stuff. LOL. I mean ole dude had BODY. It was great.

Kramer is at it again

Ok, so here Kramer is on Letterman explaining himself... and he is saying he is sorry and everything. Yeah, from first glance, you're like... good for him he is repenting... but yeah. It is so obvious, he is borderline racist, you know I mean seriously. It one of those things where I don't even think he really knows it, but it is just something inherent in his person. Dudes talking about Katrina, and "afro-americans" (I didn't think anyone really said that anymore...lol) and blacks and hispanics (I am not "hispanic" or anything... but I am pretty sure that it isn't exactly PC to say hispanic anymore. I'm not hating, I'm just saying)... and how he doesnt want to spark a black/white racial fued... yeah, it's just a lot.

So of course, I am going to make my obligatory LSAT reference.... it sucks ass, and it is still sucking ass, at least I have another week and a half to fine tune myself, because to be very honest, I am so damn sick of it right now it is not even funny. I mean not even a little bit. But whatever, I guess it will be cool on December 3, 2006.

Onto other topics... yeah, Kramer dude busted a gasket. I mean seriously. Check for yourself on youtube. I mean seriously, a sane person does not act like that. I really think that he slipped a disc or something, may something short circuited or something because normal people just don't act like that. And did he think the audience was going to support him. Uh, it wasn't like he was in West VA or Mississippi or something like that where he might have had a chance. And I am surprised a riot didn't break out, but then of course the story would have been turned to make Kramer look like the victim, so I am glad no one rushed the stage. This outburst was like Mel Gibson level. But at least Kramer really won't fall as much as Mel Gibson did because as the guy in the audience so eloquently put it... he's a nobody. And now we know that that erratic behavior he did when playing him was actually him, because no one can fake the kind of crazy he showed on that stage.

Now that Dancing with the Star's is off, there is nothing to watch on TV on Tuesday, which is to me, unacceptable.

Ok, so after some rest, I think I am ready to write again. Now I figured out what is wrong with my thought process here. I am at a serious cross in my life, I am on the brink of taking the the second biggest test of my life... and the brink of major serious changes in my life and was well as to my person (I mean seriously, as much as people want to say that they aren't changed by things, they are lying because each situation you go through changes you in some way, it doesn't necessarily have to be bad). I think the reason that I am having mental problems with my boyfriend is because I am scared that he won't fit into my later plans in life. Now that doesnt mean that I don't love him, because I love him so much it isn't even funny. I mean, we grew up in two different settings, have different views on life, everything about us is different beside the fact that we are in love with each other. That is pretty much the only thing we have in common. I love spending time with him, and there are very few people who make me laugh like him. HOWEVER, we don't really have intellectual discussions and he doesnt really mentally challenge me. I am in now way saying he is dumb because he is and extremely intelligent person, but he doesn't really use it (or better yet know how).

But then, he went back home this weekend and I really miss him. He's only been gone for three days and I miss him a lot. After December 20, he is supposed to move back home and I honestly don't know if I can take it. Also, I am not sure if he wants me to stop him. It never hit me until I was in the shower today... he may just need me to tell him that I don't want him to go. I just don't know. I am so confused. I don't want him to go at all, but I think that it would be selfish of me to ask him to stay up here and he can't afford it.

We have been together for three years, and we have had some ups and downs that turned into breaking up for four months. But we understand each other on the deepest levels so much. Everything that I "take issue with" with him is on the outer levels and honestly things that shouldn't matter all that much, but for some reason, I am acting like they do. I still love him so much. He is such a big part of my life, I don't want him to just leave. We're still going to stay together, but I know it is going to be hard... 300 miles away is a lot of distance both mentally and physically. And way, it just hit me how hard this is going to be if he actually decides to go home and I really don't want him to. I want him to stay with me. THERE I SAID IT.

3rd post of the day... what is up with me

So I must be procrastinating aka... not wanting to study anymore for the LSAT after I just took my last practice test. But yeah, this is my third entry of the day because I keep thinking of things I want to write about. And I actually forgt that quick and anyone who has actually talked to me in person knows that this is not an unusual thing. But I guess it is my signal to go and study.... WELLL

So, know I know that I am doing way much (actually it isn't way much because it is oh so necessary) with this LSAT thing. I am improving by leaps and bounds in Logic Games and Logical Reasoning, but I am still struggling with reading comprehension. I mean seriously, it seems like it should be nothing... read a passage and answer some factual questions about what you read. But it is so not that easy. Anyhoo... the reason that I am writting is because now, when ever I am talking to people or hearing people speak, I am constantly trying to pick apart thier argument. Actually, I did it before I started the law school, but now, what I do actually has names. I find myself thinking... wow... his argument is totally flawed because he is not considering other alternatives and such. Just things like that, or trying to find ways to weaken people's argument and stuff. NOT COOL. I mean seriously...But you know, a lot of people say that they don't understand what the point of the LSAT is in regards to law school. I was one of these people until last week, but know I know exactly why. The LSAT makes you questions EVERYTHING. You cannot assume anything that is not given to you and you can't bring in outside knowledge in order to attack a question. I mean while it is not like the MCAT where you learn specific knowledge, it does teach some of the skills that are needed to be a good lawyer.

On another note, CAL football sucks buttcheeks. They do this every single year, they start out really strong and then around mid november, they want to eff everything up. I mean seriously. I don't know if they get over confident or what, but they have done this in every year that I went there, and I am sure that they did it before I got there too. Now... what is the problem. Well obviously, one problem is no matter how good the team is, they won't be good without a good quarterback. Ayoob sucked, Longshore is sucking... what is the issue. But then, we must look to the source, Jeff Tedford (or as I like to call him, Teff Jedford). Maybe he has the ability to turn a program around, but I don't think he has the abilty to win big games. Seriously, it is something that is just not clicking.

If ignorance had a face...

Ok, so I am flipping through Essence magazine and I come across a quotes page. So Kanye West is on there, and his quote basically says that without the mixing of races, there wouldn't be video girls. Then he goes on to say that him and his friends happen to be very fond of "mutts". Yeah, this quote just screams out "I am one ignorant MoFo." I mean really, let's be real with ourselves. Who the hell says this, I mean seriously. There are so many implications to what he said it is not even funny. And he seriously has lost all kinds of credibility... not that he had much left after he bumrushed not one but TWO awards shows because he didn't win. Dude, get over yourself. I mean seriously, just because you spent over a million dollars on a video and because Pamela Anderson was in you video does not mean that you should get an award (confusing necessity with sufficiency...durr). That just means your behind is dumb for doing it. It is just ridiculous. And then I told my dad about the quote and he was like, "Isn't he the dude that made that Jesus Walks" with me song... I mean his whole behavior is paradoxical to me... and no matter how hard I try, I can not solve the apparent discrepancy between what he preaches and what he says.

Where has music/music vidoes gone..

Soooooo... I haven't watched videos in at least a year. I mean seriously. And the only reason they are on now is because I was watching Real World/Road Rules Challenge last night and it was left on MTV so when I turned to the TV on... the videos were on....

First, Justin Timberlake's, "My Love" just confused me. Aside from the fact that the lyrics are incredibly juvenille once you actually listen to them. I mean really, is he asking a girl to be his girlfriend or his wife... I mean seriously. I don't get it. Back to the video. I think I like the concept... but it wasn't played out very well. And to be honest, I liked the fact that he had white girl back up dancers. To me that added something, I don't know, maybe it's because you don't see it that often. But he lost me with the vignettes with him and a girl's ass in is face, yet she's in the background... and the same with TI. I just didn't make sense. And then the camera angle at the end when he was dancing by himself made me dizzy.

Second, Akon's "Smack That"... makes no sense whatsoever. SO that guy.... I forgot his name comes up and is like, "I'mma get yout out of here for 24 hours to help me". So where do they decide to go... a strip club. And this chicks look absolutly gross... I mean, they look sweaty and like they smell and they are just way to jiggly. Tone that mess up, I mean really.

Third, Jay-Z, now I like that video. It's not doing to much... maybe I just like it because I like the song. It's nice and not doing extra much. Jay-Z comes through again for me. Even Danica is in the video. And the chicks in the video are tastefull. Yeah, some were in swimming suits, but it was in the context of the video, I would even wear those. Side note: Even Beyonce looked good, and from me that's saying a lot because usually, she is a bit to jiggly for me, but she was toned ad everything. He has been "in the game" for a while and has matured over time... I mean seriously, I think people like Puffy, no P.Diddy, no Diddy want to act like they are maturing and that they are more than hip-hop, but it just seems so fake to me with "Diddy".

OK, the videos have now gone off and now "Pacey" is on some show on MTV that I have never heard of.

Yeah, so I'm a little late on this, but here goes...

So why did I just find out that people in DC couldn't vote. I mean seriously... I just had no idea. Yes, yes. I was a political science major and yes yes, I did take a class on Congress, and I have voted before, but it NEVER occured to me, that they don't get to vote. This new found knowledge has brought up some serious concerns that are not knew to anyone, however they are new to me so I will write about them.

First, that means that if I move to the DC metro area, I am probably going have to live in MD or VA because how are you going to tell me that I can't vote and I live in the United States... I mean come on now. Second, DC people shouldn't get taxed... they don't have any representation, THUS, they shouldn't get taxed. I mean seriously, I guess the American colonists words were in vain... no one learned from them.

Also, DC is majorly democratic... yet they have NO congressional voting rights... I mean WTF. Seriously, this is not OK. At least let them vote in MD or VA... particularly counties like Anne Arundel and Allegheny... PG doesnt really need it.

NOT COOL GUY....NOT COOL

LSAT Can Suck My.....

I really think that I am getting shafted with this LSAT class. I mean seriously, why I have I had like 7 different teachers, I mean really... how am I supposed to learn when we have a different teacher every other week. Let us be honest with our selves. All I know is I better improve or someone is getting a foot in there damn ass and I am not playing about that.

It's actually funny because I am actually doing worse since I started this class... I won't tell you which one company it is for fear of getting sued (not really... that's just kinda mean). But yeah, I am doing worse than when I started. What the hell is that. I mean really. I started out with a GREAT score in LR and sucky scores in Reading Comp and Logic Games. Now... I am doing GREAT in Logic Games, OK in Reading Comp... and SUCKY is LR. I am just getting overwhelmed with the different kinds of logical reasoning questions and the different ways to answer them. Anyone who knows me knows that I will pick an argument apart, weaken your argument and tell you the flaw in the assumption you made in your method of reasoning. I do this stuff naturally in my natural life and that is why I did SO well on this in my diagnostic... vut NOW... it's like I don't even know how to do it. My next practice test I am just going to do me, and not even trip.

Randomness Pertaining to TV

Attention: Why can't I make titles? Anyhooo.... more randomness.

Chris Noth is so freaking hot it isn't funny. Yes, he is 52... but I don't care. He could GET IT. I mean come on. Playing the wealthy, debounaire Mr. Big on Sex and the City just cemented his position of one of the hottest white guys ever in life. I mean come on, let's be real with ourselves. He is pretty cute in Law and Order too. Speaking of Law and Order, the guy that plays Stabler is rather hot for a white guy too. I think it is the tall, dark eyed and dark haired white dudes that I actually consider to be hot.

Anchal from America's Next Top Model is mos def the prettiest one on the show but she won't win. She is just too awkward when she is not modeling for one thing, the lack of self confidence isn't cute, and the judges just arent going to pick her because she is a size 4-6. That's actually why I like her, I can't see her ribs.

Lynette on Desperate Housewives is freaking pimp. Come on, I mean, break down the door to you husbands "person he has a kid with" and threaten to do to her spine what was done to her door in front of the chick's daughter is freaking pimp, I don't care what anybody says.

UCB is extra stupid because they charged me 20 damn dollars to get my transcript mailed to LSAC. UMCP charged me nothing. I also got my diploma today, and it was signed by the governator himself... lol. I laughed on BART today. It was very funny to me.

There's a lady at my work that talks and doesnt know when to shut up. She corners me at like 4:45 when it's time to go, and wants to talk. COME ON.

Prince's "Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad" is a rather nice song. It was made in 1980... I was negative 4 years old. Anyway, at the end, there is this duel guitar solo... I really like it. Prince coulda even got it back then... especially that picture on the CD with the wild hair. WOOO

"What Does It Take (To Win Your Love)" is a really cool song that has been made over many times since the 1960's, but Peter White's version that came out this year is great. I was in the car the first time I heard it and was getting it in traffic and people were looking at me.

Logic Games are the best part of the LSAT because there isn't really anyway they can trick you.

Asheru, the artist that did the Boondocks theme song is a really good artist. He is conscious, yet not. And his music is really nice. How come more rappers cant be like him.

Return to your regular scheduled programming.

Randomness

Dancing With The Stars is interestingly pretty good. Emmitt is doing a really good job. I am proud. I he bringing us black athletes back up from where Jerry Rice left us last season. I mean really. He is doing good.

This is going to be a post of randomness. Here goes

LSAT class sucks ass. Doing good with all the other application processes.

I think my sister has a white boyfriend. Lol. Yeah.

I am actually starting to like college football now. What the HELL is up with that. I mean seriously, I watched two games last weekend with my parents

Books Are Pretty Durn Helpful

Last year, in my African American Studies class I read "Mama Day", by Gloria Naylor. This is "mos def" my favorite book for two reasons. The first reason is because I absolutly love the way it's written. For me, the mos tinteresting types of books are those that start out in the present and then recount how people got there. It makes it all the more interesting and meaningful when at the end you are back to where you started. The second reason I love this book is because it taught me a lesson that helped me get over 2 year depression about leaving Maryland.

It is not possible to go back and revisit a particular place in time. It is possible to revisit a specific physical place, but once time intervienes... it is literally impossible to return to what was. People change, settings change. This piece of knowledge let me know that even if I went back to Maryland, it wouldn't be like it was my freshman year. So I started accepting where I was and quickly got out of my depression and started excelling in academics and track... doing me basically. LOL. So yeah, I owe a lot to this book because if I had not read that one sentance when I did, there's no telling where I'd be. No no no. I wouldn't be a crack ho or anything... but I probably wouldnt have ended up with my ending GPA or on the top 10 all-time list in 4 events at my school. I mean seriously.

SO the point of this is to say that I am ready to go back to DC/VA/MD finally. I mean before, I wasn't ready. I mean I was, but not mentally. I think before, I just wanted to go back to freshman year, when I knew who I was, when I had the most fun that I had ever had in my entire life, to go back to when people liked me FOR ME and I didn't have to pretend. Now, 95 percent of my friends from freshman year are out of college like me and not around that area anymore. I genuinly did like the area and I am ready to go back and make a new life for myself there.

Plus, there are so many things that I missed out doing while I was there out of fear. Now most people would think... fear of comming out of my shell and stuff of that nature. No I mean fear of being shot (DC Sniper was like 5 miles away from campus), fear of getting bombed (always helicopters and sirens in DC right after Sept. 11... not a settling feeling). I feel stupid now, cuz I only went to one museum and that was because I had to.

This post came up because I was downloading some music... and for some reason, I started downloading all kinds of dance hall from like 2002/2003. I mean seriously, the feelings that rushed back to me were feelings that I never felt after leaving MD. They don't play that kind of music out here. They don't have the same clubs. It is just a lot. And it is not necessarily a place in time that I want to return to, but a physical place. A place where I can like what I like and other people like it too. A place where they play what I like to hear on the radio. A place where people don't judge you as much as they do over here. I cannot wait.

These Titles Are Cool

LSAT class is just not hot. I have no life... I am sucking right now at it... and it is just really NOT cool. I guess it will pay off when I get into great law school and all, but right now it is hard. In addition, my freaking recommendation quest is not going well. Tell me why the two teachers who knew me the best are not teaching this semester. One is back at Harvard, and the other is freaking in France? What kinda luck is that? Oh yeah, and the other couple of classes I got A's in, didn't have GSI's (TA's) and it is kinda hard to get to know the teacher when you have to run to practice after every class. But whatever. I have some options, but I really just wanted those two to write my recommendations. Oh yeah, lets not forget the personal statement. Its actually going pretty well... I guess I don't really have to vent with that one. So I have broadened (most people say narrowed, but I was pretty set on where I wanted to go in the beginning. I am applying to five schools in the Maryland/DC area, one school in Southern California, and one school in Texas... I don't think I have to say what area I would most like to end up in. Any way, I have carved a little free time out for myself...

This weekend I went to a free jazz concert from KKSF featuring Richard Elliot and my favorite artist in the world Philippe Saisse. Now, I had been thinking about this for like 2 weeks... I took off work two hours early and everything. Richard Elliot was on first and he was absolutly GREAT. No Philippe got on, and he was not so hot. He was playing new stuff that I mean NO one likes. And the audience was just NOT connecting with him like they were connecting with Richard Elliot. It made me think. I think the reason most jazz pianists are gravly under appreciated is because it is so much harder to connect with the audience when you are sitting at your little chair. I will admit I was kinda disappointed, but I had to keep the aforementioned in perspective. Side note: he was much smaller than I imagined.