BOOOOOOOO

Learning is fundamental. I have always been an avid fan of getting my erudition on. I have only just realized in the past week that I can have all the fun learning whatever is in a book or whatever a teacher tells me to learn, but when it comes to learning about myself.... I have issues.

I thought I knew a lot about myself before going on my trip, however, I have just realized that what I do know is very limited. I know what I like and what I don't like, but I have no idea who I am on the inside. It hurts to say this, but I almost feel as though I am the same person as when I graduated from high school.

I have also learned that when it comes to people telling me about myself... I do not know how to take it. It is the most painful thing to have someone that you know and respect tell you about yourself. Yes yes, I know that it is necessary to have others (especially those that you care about and who care about you) to tell you things they see, but it still hurts. It just sucks to have someone remind you that you are no where near the person that you want to be and that you can be.

Also, I have always prided myself on being a step above most other people in the intellect and wit department. I have somewhat used this to seperate myself from others, well I wouldn't say seperate, but I have used it as a sort of barrier. Especially with guys, I just mentally run over them with no question, which leaves me in control. But how can you grow if no one challenges you? Over my trip in DC, I actually WAS challenged by someone from the opposite sex and I didn't even know how to react to it and kinda fell apart and morphed into some wierd being that is soooo not me. LOL. I have no way of relating to guys without flirting to establish control... and I need to stop that.

Conclusion: I am 23 and need to do something about myself soon.

Harry Potter Gone Wild?

SO Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter is participating in a play called, "Equus". This is about a young man that has a sexual obsession with horses. If this isn't enough, this film requires him to be on stage naked. So what's the big deal? There are all these angry parents talking about he shouldn't be doing this and blah blah blah. Come on now. Dude is 17 years old, he is growing up, let him freaking be. I mean, if he was 14 I could kinda see where the problem would be. Let him do him, it's not like he is doing it in Harry Potter garb. And if you don't want your children to see it, don't let them see it. It is that simple.

He's 17, it's not like he is going to stay asexual Harry Potter for ever.

It's called common sense. GET A LIFE.

Revisions, Revisions, Revisions

OK, I believe that I am going to have to take back a comment that I made in this post. I like one more song on Justin Timberlake's album... Lovestoned is kinda hot. Mainly because of the beat... Timbaland gets it with the beats. I judge songs if they make me dance in the car, and this one made me do a little something in the seat, so I had to renige my previous assessment.

Onto the second revision.... this post. Tango is not the hottest, it is soooo all about Real right about now. That mo fo is so freaking fine it isn't even funny. It doesnt matter that he looks like he is about 5'6... he could get it to the 5th degree. Seriously though, I don't think I have thought someone on TV was this fine since Patrice on Road Rules in like 5th grade. LOL. Oh memories. I don't know if it is Real's hair, or his mouth (his lips always look really succulent), or his hands (which look mighty mighty nice), or those cheekbones, but it is something. I came upon this realization because he is getting more screen time and looking gooooood.

I wanna see what Real and Chance's parents look like cause they produced two fine ass mother freakers OK!!!

And why is Tango starting to act like a little poontang? Im saying. He's still fine, but he lost some points when he was trying to justify telling on Onix. Dude, you know the only reason you told was to get him eliminated... be real and just admit it. Don't try to make up this bullish about why you did it.

Conclusion: Your fine levels can vary depending on your attitude. You do something silly, you get unfine. You let your mane down and start licking your lips, you get super fine, and quick.

R Kelly

You know, I am not quite sure how to feel about R. Kelly. Actually, I am sure, but I feel like I should feel guilty or something. I am not going to lie. R. Kelly is one crazy mother freaker, however I still like his music. R Kelly has something that few people have. He has the ability to make any song that he is on a hot song.

First example, "Make it Rain" by Fat Joe and Lil Wayne. I did not like this song until I went to DC and heard a mix with him on it. Since Cali is so extra slow, I had not heard it yet. But I really like it. He takes a messed up phrase like, "I make it rain on them hoes" and turns it into something catchy that you want to say.

Second example, "Promise" by Ciara. R Kelly saves this song. I refused to listen to this song... but once again, I heard this remix in DC and I love it.

Conclusion, songs suck without R Kelly.

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Update 1/30: I was just listening to, "Make It Rain" remix and came upon another conclusion. It is not a good thing when a remix of a song sounds like 10 times better. Fat Joe's verse is SOOOOO whatever. I don't know if I am being biased because I don't even like Fat Joe, but it is so true. Even this new person's (I can't remember his name) verse is hotter than Fat Joe.

The Flavor of New York????

Yeah, I am pretty sure that I am not the first to say this but "I Love New York" is the most unoriginal show I have ever seen in my life. If a few of the guys on that show weren't so fine, I would not watch it. The writers and producers of the show obviously were taken from the Flavor of Love because it is so similar. They even have New York trying to act like Flavor Flav. For instance, when she was trying to console whiteboy, she was talking in the slow, deeper "kind and caring" voice that Flavor Flav used when he was trying to be deep. They have her conducting the elimination ceremony the same. Everything is the same man.

That being said, I can't stop watching it because of the guys. Number one, four of them are absolutely FINE. OK. FINE. Chance, Tango, Real, and Onix could all get it OK. Seriously. Chance, even though he has that big ass gap in his teeth, is really cute. Even though he is a wanna be thug, he dresses nicely. Not too much sag, but just enough to let em know. And he had a nice body for a twiggy person. Tango, yeah I don't even know where to start. But it is definitely a battle of the finest between him and Chance. Tango has BODY, just straight body, and a nice smile. And his color is nice, not too light but not T-Weed style or anything. The only reason why Tango is not first on the hotness list is because I saw this picture of him on myspace and he was in a pose where it looked like he had cleave. Men are not supposed to have cleave, I mean muscles are nice, but when it looks like you have straight cleave, there is a problem. Real gets it with the hair. Yes, it is a bit disconcerting that his hair is nicer than most females, but it is just so pretty. And his facial hair is kinda nice too. He also just seems like a genuinely cool guy who lives a chill lifestyle. Finally Onix. He has a better body than Tango as far as I'm concerned because he has pecs, but they don't look like cleavage. The only reason why he is at the bottom of the list is because he seems like he has no personality.

And Number two, I am convinced a number of them are gay. T-Weed, Wood, 12 pack, and possibly Heat. T-Weed was so obvious to me... and I am sorry this seems politically incorrect but, the way he drags out his words is very homosexual to me. Wood posed nude on gay websites, need I say more. And 12 Pack and Heat are gay with each other, end of story.

PS. Why she get rid of Bones though? He is probably the best overall guy there. Young educated Christian brother. I guess the good guys don't win. The majority (not me!!) of black women don't want the nice/good guys, they want the thugs. How do you eliminate someone because they are "too nice"? And Pootie was kinda cute, but the skydive down the stairs and subsequent eight year old squeal lost him all potential points.

And why doesn't whiteboy shave... he has those nasty looking patches of hair all on the side of his face and his neck. Very ew.

Ideas v. Reality

I personally think ideas of things are better than reality, or in most cases. Sometimes, you can build a picture in your mind of something but when you are confronted with the reality of it, it is not as good as you imagined it to be. This goes for people especially. But you know, it doesn't take away from what the person is, it just kinda sucks when you build someone up to be something and then they are sooo not that thing.

Onto better news, I just got back from DC and I had sooo much fun. I visited four schools; loved two and really disliked two others. I went by myself and it was an experience that I needed. I walked every where and Metroed like a pro. It was great. I learned that I can be self-sufficient. I also learned that I need to grow up a bit, which relates to the first paragraph. Being in CA under my parents has really stifled me in regards to my personal growth. That is why I applied to no California law schools because as much as I love them, the only way for me to grow is to be out from under them.

All and all, it was a great trip except for the last day. LOL. I learned a lot about myself and what I need to work on and actually it has helped my relationship with my boyfriend to because I sorted out some personal mind issues. Which is always a good thing. I wasn't ready to come home, but at some time the dream stops and we wake up.

Rise

No, this is not a post about rising above oppression (although we must... lol) and this is not a post about the independent movie by Dave LaChapelle about LA krump dancing. This is about the song by the great trumpet player Herb Alpert.

This song is an absolute classic right here.... almost as much as Quincy Jones', "Tell Me A Bedtime Story". Biggie actually sampled HEAVY from this song for, "Hypnotize". The entire bassline actually. If that doesn't jog your memory... then it is the "Laura and Luke" song... I shouldn't have to explain anymore than that.

This saxophonist did a cover of it in 1998.. Leo Gandelman. He did it with this kinda party Brazilian flair and it is absolutely hotness. I've heard it before, but I could never find out who made it. But thanks to my nifty new radio, it tells who the artist is. I was just listening to KKSF on my way home from work and I heard it... GREATNESS. Not the same as Herb Alpert's, but it is still VERY good.

I always wonder why this song doesn't get any play. It's not on Rhapsody nor iTunes. Is it BECAUSE it is the "Laura and Luke" song and there might be some negative feelings attached to it? I just don't get it, this song has so much attitude and funk it's not funny.

This is OUR country?? WTF??

I mentioned this in the last post and it made me start thinking I need to elaborate. I really don't like John Mellencamp's, "This is Our Country". At first, I didn't like it because I simply don't like country music and they played it at EVERY commercial break. Then I started not liking it because there are NO black people in that commercial. This is the middle-America thinking that I was talking about that I really don't like. Even the twang in this guys voice just screams out middle-American white person to me. And the fact that he is saying, "This is our country"... who's country exactly are you talking about? You obviously aren't talking about my country because I see no black people in that commercial. All I see are dirty hick ass looking people.

The fact that they are so adamant in saying, "This is our country" really offends me. So what are you trying to say? That it isn't my country too. I mean really. I just don't like the mentality. And why did they have to use the word, "DIXIE". They coulda said something else. I just did not like that.

Why did the FCC think that it was OK to put this commercial on the airwaves? No, there was no violence, sex or bad language in there... but to me, it was what wasn't there AND the fact that there were subtle messages in there.

This is like some underhanded white pride anthem that they tried to sneak in there... not having it. "and the ones who run this land" WTF does THAT mean??

Obama v.Clinton

First off, to CNN, I know Obama and Osama are very similar in spelling, but really? Mistake the two. Not the hottest move to ever make.

Second, so... it looks as though it will be Sens. Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton and John Edwards in it for the Democratic primary in 2008 (thank goodness... it came around faster than expected), who is likely to win. Actually, we need to take John Edwards out of the picture and focus on Obama and Clinton.

The answer to this question is simple. Who does white America, specifically "This is our country" white people (that hickish song by John Mellencamp that they played during every commercial during ever football game this season) hate more NOW, women or black people. Now, being that I fall into both of these demographics, I believe that I can comment on this. Out of the two, I believe Hilary would win, cuz come on, a black man running the United States of America would create so much havoc it isn't even funny. Yes, I believe that a women running the USA would create some issues, but I am pretty sure that the KKK and all kinds of backwood militia like those on the first episode of Dave Chappelle would not be coming out of the woodwork like they would if a black man won the presendcy.

We also have to look at his name. Barack Hussein Obama???!!! Is there any more of an ethnic name than that? I mean really. It just spells different, and Americans have a strong distaste for different. First, the name sounds Muslim... and Americans are STILL having some strong emotions toward Muslims. In addition, Obama sounds like Osama... even CNN made that mistake. Adding fuel to the fire, his middle name is Hussein!!!! LOL. Could it get anymore ironic. I mean really. Aside from sounding Muslim, it just sounds foreign, and I don't believe that some people would like for a "foreigner" to be running their country.

Onto the black thing. When I was writing this, I got to the part about him being Muslim and realized that he IS indeed half white. The fact that I forgot this signals to me that it will be very easy for others to forget that he is part white, and some probably don't even know. It's not like this guy is just straight NEGRO, but I don't think that will make a difference.

As for Hilary, I don't know how that would go over either though. Any little "mistake" she makes or if even the smallest thing goes wrong if she was in office would cause uproar too. Men would think that women can't do the job and blah blah blah.

Any change in the "status quo", how American has lived for centuries, is going to bring about some massive upheavals and issues beyond belief... soooooo.....

Edwards will win.

'Round Midnight

Round Midnight, originally done by Thelonius Monk, is by far (in my humble opinion), the best jazz track ever to be laid down. Why? It isn't too complication in the fact that so many different instruments are going on, but it is still carries very complicated melodies.

The best version is MOS DEF Miles Davis and the Modern Jazz Giants version. The Modern Jazz Giants combines my three favorite Jazz artists; John Coltrane, Miles Davis, and Thelonius Monk himself. This version is just plain and simply sexy. That is the only word that I can use to describe it. It has a very high class sound to it that reminds me of old time clubs where people would dress up to the nines and stuff. Just straight class... that is what I imagine whenever I hear this song.

It is just absolutely beautiful.

Really Dave Chappelle?

There was nothing on television, so I was just switching channels and happened to stumble across, "Iconoclasts" on the Sundance channel. This episode was Dave Chappelle interviewing Maya Angelou. Like I said, there was nothing on, so I decided to stay. The first thing I noticed was that Dave Chappelle was acting like he was high on something. Not drunk... but high. So I continue to watch because at this point, I think it is funny. After about 10 minutes, I realize he is not high... he is simply in awe.

It was actually a great show because there were two very non-mainstream thinkers conversing on a "human" level. It was cool, because they are fifty years apart, but you could see the connection they had. I think everyone should watch it.

"Life as a linear journey"....

Four Hands?

Man, I am on a roll today. My arm and head were hurting so I took a Tylenol PM and I am soooo sleepy, but it is also like I can't go to sleep right now.

So I am listening to Keiko Matsui and Bob James', "Altair and Vega". "Altair and Vega" is done using four hand piano which is an interesting style. It's crazy to hear two pianists of that quality doing a beautiful pieces like this and KNOWING that they are using the same piano, at the same time. This effect can be achieved through special effects and things of that nature, but knowing that these two are playing this together at the same time is something special.

The piano is not a big instrument (well it is, but not when two people are using it), so it is amazing that they are producing this piece. The way they are melding together is absolutely amazing.

The Land of the Crazies

OK, so I have been working at my current job for six months now... and honestly, I love (or loved) it. Now that my buddy is gone, it has been a little more stressful... and I will tell why... NOW.

Ok, last Thursday, they got a temp to come in. Everytime someone new comes into the office, the HR manager (who is mad cool and chill) sends out a copy of their resume to everyone. So I am reading her resume and I notice that she has been working since 1992. Not bad, but I just take note that she is going to be a great deal older than me, since in 1992, I was in 2nd grade. Anyway, the second thing I notice is that she stated that she had some kind of a typing certificate. I didn't know exactly what that was, so I just left it alone.

That night, I was going to hang out with my boyfriend, so he picked me up from work. I was just telling him that I was sad to see my friend go and that a new lady would be coming in and that she might be old. Then I told him about the typing certificate, which he agreed was rather odd. Who does that.

Fast forward to Thursday,I come in and she is sitting at the front desk... formalities are exchanged and I put my stuff on my desk. I come back out to the reception desk* to speak with her and I notice there are pieces of paper all over the desk. Scratch that, not paper, but tissues. Long story short, that day did not go well... she said she self medicates, she leaves snotty rags everywhere, she is OCD and ADD and any other "D" you could possibly think of. She is a bonefide crazy lady. I can't even go into serious details right now because that would take up way too much typing.... and I do not have the time or energy to be worried about her more than I already am.

But all I am saying, is that there is something wrong when you are upwards of fifty and you are still working temp. Yes, I understand that some situations may require this, but being a permanent temp signals a problem. That means that no one wants to keep you around because of something you are doing. And I think I have a notion of what exactly that is. She has no freaking manners or social skills. Like I said, she leaves tissues everywhere and hawks all in public and blows her nose right next to people and every other nasty thing you could image. I told her she could eat her lunch at my desk since food is not allowed at the reception desk**. Anyway, so she left her nasty food on my desk and said she was saving it... just all in the open. She didn't even try to cover it up. And the social skills are lacking too... the lady has been there and she is trying to take things over. I mean seriously, relabeling stuff and everything, I had to lay the law down a couple of days about that. And she mocks people like when they have no relationship at all. It's BAD.

She has been a big pain... she doesn't follow directions and doesn't really have social skills. However, I feel bad for her because there is a reason that all of this occurs in her. I just don't understand what is lacking where people just aren't aware of what is going on around them

It is just overall not cool.

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*Let me clarify by stating that I am in a Office Support/Research Support position, which means that I do preliminary research for the company as well as any administrative work if needed.
** I cover the front desk when she is at lunch and on break.

DC Trippin

I am not talking about the smoking ban, because I am quite in favor of that. I actually think that EVERY STATE, COUNTY, whatever should do this. If you want to kill yourself with those cancer sticks, then you do so, but don't make me sit her and suffer just because you want to "release". I am straight off that. That's the only thing that I have enjoyed being in CA for the last three years... I didn't have to deal with going to a club and coming home smelling like an ashtray. It's not hot and does not get it. Sorry.

So the reason I am writting this post is because I will be going to DC really soon to check out some law schools and I am really excited. Thus DC... Trippin. Ha. I am going BY MYSELF... which is exciting for me because I can follow my own schedule. I never visited the monuments or anything of that nature and I am really excited about doing that for the first time.

Side Note: I decided not to visit University of Maryland, Baltimore. There has been 10 murders in B-More since Jan 1, 2007... it is Jan 11, 2007... there is an issue here. It's really not cute guys. Let's BE REAL.

By the way, NW hotels are so freaking expensive, it isn't even cool. But whatever. That's what you gotta do to up the lessen your chances of being a statistic. That sounds so bad to write that, but it is true.

Buddy

Just thinking, but I am pretty sure that anyone can fall in love with anyone. Seriously. I figure since you can pretty much become friends with anyone... even someone who you usually wouldn't be friends with... why couldn't you do the same with love?

This came to mind because my co-worker left last Friday and I was soooo hurt. It isn't even funny. We work in the same department and were pretty much around each other from 10-5 from M-F for six months. We developed this friendship and it was actually pretty strong. And not the kind of friendship that I have with EC, but a good solid buddy buddy type relationship. This may not seem like anything, but the guy is a chubby Filipino guy. When I was in K-8, my best friends were Asian girls, but since then, I haven't really developed a close relationship with one, even my Sophomore year roommate and I had a cordial type existence and nothing more. And I have never had any friends that were Asian GUYS.

But the point is, that I became really good friends with this guy and I was really sad to see him go. I never thought that I would be able to have any kind of relationship with an Asian dude (but are Filipino's really Asian... I mean really. lol) , but I have been more than proven wrong. Which brings be to my subsequent point... then shouldn't any person be able to fall in love with any other random person? I figure since I used to be very selective in who I became friends with...and I became good friends with this dude, then anything is possible right?
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And on topic with the title of the post, what is up with Musiq Soulchild making all of these songs about being friends and buddies and platonic relationships that really aren't platonic. I mean, does that get it? He must have used that line back in the day when it was actualy believable. Do females really respond to line of junk now? And why can't he just admit what he wants, trying to hide behind that buddy facade... it's just horrible.. be real with your life Musiq.

I will admit however, that I do like the song... maybe it is the beat... it kinda sounds like the, "Summertime" beat.

The Promise Ring Song?

Is Justin Timberlake's, "My Love" a song about asking someone to be their girlfriend, or asking someone to marry him, or about giving someone a promise ring? I know this song has been out for a good minute, but I was sitting in traffic today and actually listened to the lyrics for the first time instead of just the music. To me, it seems as though he is talking about all three. First I get him saying what he imagines him and this girl doing. OK, to me, the stuff he is talking about, holding hands and walks on the beach, all that seems like you would do that before you get married. So I assumed that he was talking about asking someone to be his girlfriend. Then he goes on to say, "This ring here represents my heart"???? WTF?

I think Justin Timberlake has gone back and channeled his Mickey Mouse Club days and is asking some chick to be his girlfriend by giving her a promise ring. LOL. Greatness.

Night At the Museum

I must mention... at the ending credits, Dick Van Dyke was getting it when he was dancing. Mickey Rooney and Bill Cobbs were OK... but Dick Van Dyke was GETTING IT. The guy is 81 years old and was dancing so fluidly it was ridiculous. That's how I want to be when I get 81. No, that's how I want to be when I am fifty.

Anyway, I am not exactly sure why, but I am a hugh Ben Stiller fan. So much so that I think I have seen every movie he has done since, "Heavyweights". I know his style of comedy is a bit repetitious, but it is funny to me nonetheless. Anyhoo, it was a good movie overall... although I don't really think it was a kids movie (who it was intended for). For most of the funniest parts, none of the kids laughed, it was only the adults.

The only bad thing about the movie to me was that it was a bit historically inaccurate. Everyone knows that in the times of the building of the pyramids and such, the Egyptians were "closer to" Africans than to Middle Easterns. Yes yes, I am well aware that Egypt is in Africa, thus, ipso facto, Egyptians were Africans, but that is not the context that I am using it in. Egyptians had darker skin at that period of time.. basically. Anyway, they made an Egyptian prince looked like he was straight out of Persia... which really bothered me... but whatever.

Overall, a pretty good movie.

It will come back to you...

The song Peg by Steely Dan is so catchy it isn't even funny. The beat just gets it. I think that early nineties group Arrested Development semi sampled the song for one of their songs. Anyway, it really isn't talking about anything except how this girl (Peg) is going to become a big star one day, but the song just makes me happy. Nice and upbeat. That is all