Learning is fundamental. I have always been an avid fan of getting my erudition on. I have only just realized in the past week that I can have all the fun learning whatever is in a book or whatever a teacher tells me to learn, but when it comes to learning about myself.... I have issues.
I thought I knew a lot about myself before going on my trip, however, I have just realized that what I do know is very limited. I know what I like and what I don't like, but I have no idea who I am on the inside. It hurts to say this, but I almost feel as though I am the same person as when I graduated from high school.
I have also learned that when it comes to people telling me about myself... I do not know how to take it. It is the most painful thing to have someone that you know and respect tell you about yourself. Yes yes, I know that it is necessary to have others (especially those that you care about and who care about you) to tell you things they see, but it still hurts. It just sucks to have someone remind you that you are no where near the person that you want to be and that you can be.
Also, I have always prided myself on being a step above most other people in the intellect and wit department. I have somewhat used this to seperate myself from others, well I wouldn't say seperate, but I have used it as a sort of barrier. Especially with guys, I just mentally run over them with no question, which leaves me in control. But how can you grow if no one challenges you? Over my trip in DC, I actually WAS challenged by someone from the opposite sex and I didn't even know how to react to it and kinda fell apart and morphed into some wierd being that is soooo not me. LOL. I have no way of relating to guys without flirting to establish control... and I need to stop that.
Conclusion: I am 23 and need to do something about myself soon.
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