Dizzam

Alot has gone on since I last wrote in here. I moved home, and I am both happy and sad. I am happy I don't have to pay rent anymore and can save up for law school... but I am still sad that I have to kind of leave my boyfriend out in the cold. It has been a really hard week for the two of us. He completly broke down a couple of times because he is also going through a lot with his lack of car and everything. Anyway, we almost broke up on Wednesday because he felt so betrayed by me, but he came to his senses. Anyway, we also had some issues because he read something that I read in this blog about anyother dude being sexy and he really didn't like that. But, he found an apartment with the person he was living with before me, he is getting a car when he goes back home, and he is now a manager at Circuit City which gave him a five dollar raise which is pretty good. So luckily thing are looking up.

I have realized somethings, I really do love him, I just don't do NOT want to lose myself or my dreams in him. I really want to be with him, I just don't want to become complacent and lose myself. I mean I really truely love that man, and I now that he really truely loves me too... it is just kind of difficult because we are BOTH at a turning point in our lives right now. I believe that we can make it... but honestly, it is not going to come with tears. But I do love him.

PS... I miss holding him at night the most. Smelling his back and kissing it... But I can still go over to his house when he gets it all fixed up.