So, my birthday is at the end of next month and I am going to visit "Aduli". He tried to get me to also come for his birthday at the beginning of next month, but I have mock trial practice the day of his birthday and have to be back in Austin....sadness I know.
But the point is, im actually very excited about this for a couple of reasons...one more physical than the other. lol. So basically, we've been friends for about 7 years. And we've talked about everything for hours upon hours upon hours. And eventually we started tackling different subjects. At first, we just talked about how our days were, or what was bothering us and things like that. Then after a couple of years, we started talking about our love lives, things that we liked or disliked. Then after about year 4, we started talking about our actual feelings...not feelings toward each other, but just feelings and like really deep stuff. Then, we ventured into saying "sexual" things to each other...and like not in a lewd way, but I would always be like, "don't say anything nasty or inappropriate to me"...just because that wasn't our relationship and we were just friends.
Then started law school and he started for really working. I think it was at that point that our relationship changed from being a teenager like friendship (even though we were like 23/24 at that time) to like an adult friendship. And then the latest step...the step after the visit. We were actually for really honest about how we felt about each other, and the visit and everything like that. THEN, we started talking on the PHONE....whaaaaaat?!?!?!?!? That may not seem like a really big deal or anything, but it was kinda like an unspoken rule that we did not speak on the phone as a way of kinda keeping our feelings for each other in check. In 7 years, we talked on the phone a total of......2 times. The first time was 3 years ago when I visited DC and I didn't have internet and he sang happy birthday to me last birthday. BUT then of late, we've been talking to each other a couple of times a week. And we literally talk about everything....we sing christmas carols and even explored the foray of "sensual storytelling" (which by the way is awesome....sensual storytelling is NOT the equiv. of phone sex ok....don't be gross).
But no joke...I'm kinda living freely for the first time in a really long time, and I absolutely love it. The whole reason I wouldn't talk to him on the phone or not allow us to talk about our feelings is because I feel so incredibly strong for him and it scares me. I don't want him to be able to hurt me and because I've known him for so long, I know that he will be able to. But honestly, even if I do end up getting hurt, it will be worth it because of how he makes me feel.
And I'm not trying to jinx anything, but this really is kinda crazy to me. He's never been able to keep interest in a girl that he's dating for longer than a month. And this is girls IN DC. And even though we aren't dating, i've kept him leashed for about 2 months and I'm 1700 miles away. And he even said it. We were talking yesterday and he was like, "I'm not even going to lie, I am still completely enthralled by you. You'd think I'd be over you by now but it (our experience together....we did not relate) was just that good/amazing...just know I think VERY highly of you." And that is like one of the best compliments I think I have ever gotten, simply because I think it took a lot for him to even say that to him.
But I'm just so excited because I know he's excited to see me too. He just keeps mentioning it too. Loving it. Talking about, "Think of you're visit as the best first date you will ever have in your life. You and me together for 48 entire hours. I'll take you out, do some cultural things and the rest of your time just blow your mind"....does that explain why I'm a little excitable? That's my DUDE son.....
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