Is This Bourgie...or Just Different

You know... whenever I think of December, I think of a staple in the mid to high level black society in Oakland... the Links Cotillion. I've been to so many and was actually in one when I was a senior in high school. And it got me to thinking...

I wonder if I will partake in these activities myself when I am older and more established AND if I will enroll me children in such things?

I say this because when I think of the Links and to a much less extent Jack and Jill, I think of mid to upper society black professionals... which I plan on being (yeah i said it so what). But at what point does that make me bourgie? I don't feel it does. I know my parents for sure were not and are not bourgie in the least and they made me partake in a lot of activities that were geared toward that particular group of black people.

So for starters, when I was growing up, my dad was a "prominent" black accountant in the area we grew up. So when I grew up, we had a little money. My parents sent me to a private school where I was one of two black people in my class. We lived in Oakland, and if you have the means, you do NOT send your child to an Oakland Public School. Even the ones in the good area of town sucked ass. So basically, in order to combat this onslaught of white people, they made sure they enrolled me in as many black centered activities and such as possible. I was part of a black ski club for most of my childhood, they always sent me to the YMCA summer camps, and other camps that were "black focused". When I grew up, there was the Jack and Jill thing. At this point I was the only black kid in my class...roughness. And then there was the Cotillion, which I thought was funny. I was forced into it, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. But whats really funny is, its basically a debutante ball, so you learn ettiquate and how to ballroom dance. I love how all the etiquette was pointless... as we already knew it. Come now...if ur in the Cotillion, you know etiquette...just saying.

I didn't realize that all black kids did not do this kind of thing until college. LOL. Seriously, I would talk about this stuff and the people had no idea what I was talking about. I don't think I realized what kind of life "that" was. I really thought it was the norm. Which brings me to my starting question. Am I going to enroll my children in things like this, AND be a part of the adult divisions myself? I think so... because even though it gave me a kind of skewed version of life, it was very beneficial to me.

Oh wait, on another front. Like I was saying, the black upper middle class (im leaving out the upper class... Im just including accountant, business, lawyers, and SOME doctors) in Oakland, was a rather small and tight knit community in the 90's and early 2000's. Not saying we all knew each other and all that crap. But you basically knew of everyone in some form. We all went to 1 of 3 high schools...yes there were outliers who went to private schools, but the majority went to either Bishop O'Dowd, St. Mary's or Holy Names. Why the catholic schools, I don't know. But I kid you not, this is where most of us went. I just think it is so funny. Half the black people at my school I knew from either summer camp, middle school dances (thats another thing, there was this league, I can't remember what it was called, but it had all of the good Private elementary/middle schools- Ecole Biliung, Athenian, Redwood Day School, Bentley, St. Paul's, The Academy, Head Royce, and some others... so we knew each other that way too), or the little social clubs.

So yes, just writing this, I know I am going to do it. Like I said, I came out of high school with a sort of skewed version of "the truth", but I think it was a good experience for me.