I'm Seriously Vomitous

I just found out some awful news in regards to my ex track team that makes me want to throw away all of my school track issued stuff. However, since that is most of my wardrobe. I don't think it will be possible.

I just want to know why most track athlete (sans myself and a few choice others) are all adulterous sultatious whores? I mean just effing everybody. It's not cute. Get a lift. Move on. Entitlement is a bitch isnt it?

Best Commercial Ever Revision

OK, a couple of months ago, I said the best commercial ever was that winterfresh one with the corporate dude... I soooooo renege on that statement. Best commercial series ever was the Puma commercials for the Jamaican Track Team for the Athens Olympics. I remember when that commercial came out, especially the one when they were at the dancehall.... sheeeet son.. Hold Attention!!! Hot business. I've enclosed a reproduction for your viewing (I just went to a resume workshop, deal with it)




And why am I starting to get sad again...MAN what I wouldn't do for like one night at the Ritz man... just ONE NIGHT! Like for real, there was nothing like breaking upwards of 10 dudes off in one night man... And no, I'm not a whore, I'm just talking dancing wise. Someone please remind me why I didn't go to Georgetown for law school? Please remind me... man I'm aching for it. Well, I guess that just means that I have to get Three A's and a B (i've given up in Con Law... accept my fate son) and get that job/internship in DC this summer....

That What If's

Just got nostalgic…and when I get nostalgic…I get to thinking. Yes yes… shoulda woulda coulda’s are stupid and just a waste of time. But hey, I feel it, so here goes. If I had one more year of eligibility… I so woulda been the ish. And that is not even saying it in a cocky way. I was hurt for three years out of my four years of eligibility. I didn’t start getting good workouts in until that last year. I mean seriously… how do you go from not being on the top all time performances list… to being 3rd in one year? It’s kinda funny because I think; what if that pivotal night I had where I was deciding my future, I decided to train for track instead of training for the LSAT. What woulda happened then? Would I have run a 22 something (pretty sure…97 percent sure I woulda). It just kinda hurts when you think of the shoulda woulda couldas. And for that matter, what woulda happened had I not cared about school 95 percent and track 5 percent. What if I woulda cared 75% school and 25% track? Would I still have been going to a top 20 law school then? See, this is why I don’t like that think…lol.

Don't Hate, Just Look and Appreciate. Thanks

Yeah, so one of my track coaches was telling the graduating seniors last year how we were going to be hated on by everyone at our grad school/jobs in the next year. Why? He said because of the track body. I was like, "Whatever, it isn't even that serious" and kinda ignored it, but I am finally starting to get this reaction from people. It's really sad actually. It's almost like people are so insecure with how they look, they have to always say something about someone else. People are always going around commenting on my body in one way or another. The remarks range anywhere from "You have a really cute shape" to "You need to eat". The comments closer to the first one, I don't really mind, but the second comment is just so wrong on many levels. First of all, I am 134 and 5'5.... which is like a GREAT ratio. I don't need to eat, the problem is is that YOUR ASS needs to STOP eating. I am sorry your BMI sucks, but there is no need to hate on my because of it. And sometimes, it's not even the comments, it's what's NOT said. I'm starting to notice people staring at me. And they are never looking at my face, there are always looking at my middle sections. Last comment, so today, this lady was like, "I have to eat steamed broccoli and cauliflower everyday at lunch so I can look like you. You're ridiculous". I wasn't offended by this comment, but it was the comment that sparked this post. It's almost like it is unnatural for people to be in shape anymore and I really don't understand why.

And another thing that bothers me, people act like I didn't work for what I have. I worked out 6 days a week and twice on 4 of those 6 days. It took a lot of sacrifice, so don't act like I am just so lucky that I look this way.

This is just coming up for me because at work, I wear "real people" clothes and I am not always in sweats and stuff so people can see the shape. When I go to law school, it's back to tee shirt and shorts for me... this attracts too much attention. And no I am not being cocky because anyone who knows me knows that I am on the opposite end of that spectrum.

Musings of a Bored Person

Bartender: Ok, I really don't understand the phenomenon that is T-Pain. He sings with a vocador... I think that is a pretty good sign that he cannot sing...end comments.

Freeway Collapse: So the freeway interchange of 80 to 580 kinda collapsed this morning. Is it me or does the bay area have an odd amount of structural issues... and odd structural issues at that. The Bay Bridge fell down and now a big ass gas tanker crashed and MELTED the interchange between the 80 and the 580. (why did the driver climb out, walk off the freeway, and caught a cab to Kaiser Oakland? that's kinda far... where was the ambulance?). Luckily no one got hurt and public transit (including BART) is free tomorrow. YAYAYAY! Wait a minute, I don't take BART anymore....gaa dog. But more on this driver.... He was driving a rig that was carrying close to 9,000 gallons of unleaded gasoline, hit the siderail... proceeded to flip over and probably slide a few meters. Then he climbed out of the truck with cuts and 2nd degree burns and began to walk away from the crash... down off the freeway to catch a cab to go to the hospital. For people who aren't familiar with this highway... it's high and the exits are kinda far apart. It's not like it is one of those freeways that has a frontage road right next to it with ample oppertunities to get off. But what's REALLY funny is I was so impressed with how this dude managed to get out the truck and blah blah, I started telling the story extra wrong. I said he walked all the way to Kaiser Oakland... which is kinda not true, but I was so excited I kinda forgot. Then my mom called me on it and I was a bit pink.

Fergie's Spelling: Is it really imperative that Fergie spells in every song that she makes? Is she that bad at writing that she has to put in some spelling exercises in every song as filler? I'm just trying to figure it out.

imeem comments: Why do people have to leave weird comments on imeem.com songs? I am so sorry but I don't care if that song is "yo shit"... I really don't care. Is it really necessary to use the profanities? I am just trying to figure it out. Or why when people type things out they have to spell them exactly like they sound? Ma does not mean my. Wait, here's another one... I don't even know what this is called, but I can't stand when people tYpE lIkE tHiS. It Is So AnNoYiNg...MaYbE iT iS jUsT mE.

Celebrity Fat Club: Yes I know that is not the proper name for it, but my boyfriend thought that was what it was called for the longest so know I just call it that. First off all I can say is, Um Yeah. What is wrong with Screech? He has some deep issues that he needs to deal with and real quick before someone jumps his dumb A. And why is Warren G. STILL sexy? Even as a chunky young middle aged man he could STILL get it. That swole upper lip ooooowee!! Da Brat scares me... but her hair always looks so pretty... I would like to steal her hair.

Went to a track meet this weekend and I am sooo glad I am done. The whole team is in a state of disarray and I am just glad to be done of it. Even though no one reads this, I won't post anything too incriminating because I don't want to be sued before I properly know how to defend myself.

H&M is the best store ever in life... except that section that sells the thin shirts in random ass colors.

End Rant.

The Shaft

I have had a love hate relationship with Track and Field since 1999, when I started doing it. I have always liked it because I was great at it. In high school, I was the best in northern California in 3 events, and that is no bullish. I would tell you to look it up, but then that would require me to put my real name up on here, but I don't think I am going to do that. But I digress, a have always felt a degree of resentment toward Track because I've felt that it took away experiences that I should have had. There were many social things that I didn't get to do because of track, but I will admit that others had it worse (my boyfriend didn't get to go to prom because his MOC meet was the same day).

This love/hate relationship continued and worsened in college. My first year, I went to unnamed school in Maryland and they recked havoc on my body. I gained 20 pounds of muscle and was constantly hurt because my little frame couldn't support all that weight (I went in at 125 left at 140). I decided that I had too much potential in track to just waste away there (I was an high school all American for crying out loud), so I decided to transfer to Cal. I wasn't very learned about the transfer process or anything like that, so I wasn't aware that I could redshirt my outdoor season and add it to my season at the new school, and the coaches didn't tell me. So I was basically running hurt all year. However, that year, 2003 was no doubt the best of my life. Because I sucked at track and was constantly hurt, I paid more attention to my social life. I actually DID things, I had a close group of friends and I was a genuinely happy person.

When I transferred to unnamed school in California , I realized what a mistake I had made, and was bitter the whole time. I was still hurt from my Maryland injuries, and the coaches too no time to try to heal me. I was STILL the second fastest on the team with my injuries, so the coaches decided to run me still hurt. This happened for 2 years, without a mention of redshirting me. Then my last year, when I had 5 more credits left to take, my coach was like, "Maybe we should redshirt you this year". Dude, I have 5 credits, you can't exactly redshirt on 5 credits. I had recovered finally from my injury (after 3 years, dang) and I was tearing ish up. I made it to number three on the unnamed school in California All Time List in one event and am number one on 3 relays and I am on the list in two other events. At my regional track meet, the meet before NCAA's , I made it to the final in one event, and that was the first time, the coaches ever sent me to get treatment from an Olympic physical therapist. Just ignore my ass for three years, and now you wanna give me attention and I had one more damn race left. If that isn't the shaft I don't know what is.

I was thinking about this Saturday, and it made me so mad, I got a migraine. I devoted seven years of my life to track and field and I ended up with the biggest shaft ever man. What makes it worse, is that when I left (May 2006), I was in my prime. I was jumping the farther than I have ever jumped, I was running faster than I ever ran. I coulda taken this year and tried to make it on the pro circuit, and honestly, no bullish, I believe I coulda made it on... but I didn't have anyone to sponsor me, and running track takes money. Plus, I felt it was time to be real about my life and start my adult life, thusly, law school. Yes, I did basically go through college free (I have 2,000 in loans and that's only because I wanted to go on vacation one summer, lol) but I missed out on so much because of track. I coulda gotten better grades, done internships, made good friends, not just acquaintances at unnamed California school. But you know, what's done is done, but it just burns my up to know that I got played big time for the last three years of my life.

Through this experience, I have learned a lot about myself though... and I am appreciative of that, but it still hurts when I look back on it.

Bastards. But I'm not angry.
Conclusion: Don't get hurt in NCAA D1 College Sports.

209

Back in the days....

I am in one of those reflective moods. I get in these moods alot. Actually, I usually get in these moods when I am procrastinating. Today, I am procrastinating writting my personal statement. It's not that I don't have anything to say, because I do have a lot of things to say... they need to know why I have such an interest in education policy... however, I am having trouble writting it in a way that is not angry, but still meaningful at the same time.

Anyway... so I am here listening to Asheru and Blue Black and the Unspoken Word and it is bringing me back to the best year of my life at the best school ever!!!! I mean seriously, that was the best year of my life... to be honest, the only thing wrong with it was the fact that I was 3000 miles away from my parents and I only saw them three times in 10 months. That was harsh. But otherwise... I grew more in that short year, that I have in the three years that I was at the other school. Well, actually, the growth was a different type of growth. I learned who I was, what I liked, what kind of people that I wanted to keep company with and things of that nature. At home... I reverted back to high school quick. Everything that I learned about myself from MD, went in the toilet. It was only until my senior year (last year), that I got over the depression and lived life for everyday, which is my motto now.

Anyway, I seriously can't remember a time that I was happier. I was by myself... learning things about myself that I never thought were in me. I tried more things with an open mind than I ever had (except for drugs and alcohol, let's be real with our lives.. that's not me and that will never be me). I can still remember, over winter break (yes I was at school over winter break, the track team had to be back on January 2nd) I went out 5 out of an 8 day week. Can you say... dizzam. And it was fun as hell. Before MD, I had not been to a club or a party that was outside of a school dance.

I also went to events... especially the ones at the cultural center. I went to BSU meetings, poetry readings (they were good... I remember there was this one guy, I don't remember his name, but he wrote so well about his life it was so moving people were crying and stuff... not me though.. you know how I do), step shows... errrthang.

Above all, what I miss about my experiance at Maryland were the people. I have never met more people that I got along with and that did not judge me in my life. I was cool with everyone on my track team and most black people in my class and the sophomore class knew of me (come on, I was the one of two black girls from california in my class). One of my friends I met there, I'll call her Eliza (not her name, but who puts real names on here), is still one of my best friends. Another guy friend and I have kept in contact and have actually grown closer even though we are seperated. I have never met more real people in my life.

I can remember the feeling that I had then. I didn't know what it was, but it was happiness. I was introduced to so many things... living in SNOW, just everything. Going to the diner for late night was a standard activity. It started with me, I would AIM, or call Eliza (it had to start with me because I lived the farthest away from the diner), then I would swing by her dorm which was next to mine. Then we would swing by the other dorm in our "quad" where our friends Fola and Zamp (not their names either...) lived and we would go to the diner to chill out from studying. This was a daily thing. Fun as all get out.

I remember the house (eff that apartment/dorm room) parties we used to go too. It would be so many people in there that it was scary, but we were having so much fun, it didn't even matter. I even met Juan Dixon at one of the parties (I was in love with that dude Senior year of high school). I remember one party at the courtyards, there were so many people in the little living room/apartment. We had heard earlier that day that this one chick wanted to fight this other chick over a dude or something of that nature. So me and the three other aforementioned girls were there dancing or whatever, and these girls just start fighting kinda in the corner. Ok, so they finished, and we thought everything was cool. No. Not even a little bit. Two other dudes started fighting and people start falling and somehow I got pushed up against a wall with a whole bunch of other people. I couldn't breath and stuff... and I see a whole so I go for it... bad idea. The guys start coming in my direction and I end up tripping over them and falling but I got out... there was hella screaming and stuff going on. So I'm outside (the party was on the fifth floor and I am outside at the bottem in a quickness) and I realized that my fast track behind left my friends... so I decide to take on for the team and go back to find them. So I am running back up the stairs when everyone in their right mind is running DOWN the stairs. I see Eliza and Fola and I'm like, "Where's Zamp?" And they are like, she is still inside somewhere. So we go inside.. still fighting, and where is she? She is on the couch watching these dudes beat each other up. She wasn't spectating, but she was on the couch hugged up to her knees rocking. She just froze. We were like, "Get your ass over here"... and we ran out... and as soon as we get out we hear sirens. Now at UMCP, they have a MO to arrest anyone they can find that is outside of a party to make examples out of them, so we had to run our little happy buts back to campus. NOT COOL (at that time, it's funny now).

Two more stories, then I am done remenicing. I remember it was time for me to get my hair braided for the first time in MD, and I didn't know where any BLACK hair supply stores were. So I go on yahoo and find that the "nearest" was in Laurel, which is 20 minutes away. So, like a dumbass, I follow these directions (didn't bother to ask anyone from my track team or anything). So I end up mad lost, in a not so good neighborhood. So unlike AC Transit, there is no number to call to ask about bus scheduling or anything. So I called my mom, because I was there for like 2 hours with no bus coming back. I was crying and junk all scared because it was getting late and my phone was dying and I didn't know how to get back. She yahoo mapped my way back. That was probably the most scared I have ever been for my life, but once again, when I look back on it, it is now funny, and I grew from it so it is all good.

Last story, I promise. So, I was sometime in February. Me and the three aforementioned friends are bored, so we decide to go to our all time favorite club... THE RITZ. It is no longer there due to fire safety issues and such. Anyhoo, anyone that went to black clubs in the DC area should know the ritz. It was grimey as hell, but the reggae room was off the "chizane". They had a total of three rooms... the B-More club room, the Hip-hop/Rap room, and finally, the reggae room. Anyway, so it was the last night the club was going to be open anyway so we decided to go. NOTE: IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SNOW. Anyway, so we get in there, HELLA people were in there and it was "popping". Anyway, so Fola was dancing with this dude, and this other dude tried to dance with her and the dudes started fighting. So I tap her, point to the door as a signal it was time to go and we all jet. So, at this point it is about 1:45, which was an early departure for us. So we get out the door and it is WHITE outside. It must have dropped four inches of snow in the three hours we were there. Long story short. We couldn't get a cab... we tried to stay at a the Marriot on 10th Street NW, but they were sold out. We went over to some unknown hotel, which looked like a ho motel, and our key broke off in the door. NOT a good sign. We finally found a cab, and it took 2 hours (on a normal day 30 minutes) to get back. Not a good night. But I was talking about it with Eliza a couple of days ago and we were rolling. To give you an idea of how bad it was, we were out of school due to incliment weather for the next four school days.

Those were the good old days.

Bureaucracy... Really though?

I ran track at one college for a year transfered to another school across the country and never really looked back... until a couple of days ago. The school that will remain unnamed... lets call it Easton school (don't get it twisted, the school I went to and the school that I graduated from were both D1 NCAA schools as well as Top 30 academic schools) was playing on TV and I saw in the student section their letter jackets. They were nice... I remember going to a track meet in New York the year after I transfered and I saw the letter jackets and thought they were nice, but since I was with the new school, I thought it would be somewhat inappropriate to get that jacket. But now that I have graduted and technically hold no allegiances to either school... I WANT THAT LETTER JACKET.

So I call what I think to be Easton schools athletic department and it's academic support who then transfers me to the track coach's phone number. This is a new coach who doesnt know who I am and it was quite awkward like... yeah, I only ran track on the team for a year and you don't know me, but I want my jacket. He said that he saw my name in the record... however because I was transfered, I would need approval from my old coach. I mean really, what am I supposed to do, call the old coach (who I REALLY didn't like) and be like, "Yeah, where's my jacket that you owe me from that one horrific track year where you made me gain 20 pounds and I was chronically injured and we got into arguments every day?"

Anyway, so I decided to email the Assistant Athletic Director in charge of Varsity Sports. I am just saying. I do want the jacket, but it is not extra crucial that I get it. HOWEVER, it is the principle. I shouldnt have to go through all of this. My name is there, I was there dammit. Look in the media guide. I scored points, gimme my jacket. Not even that serious. They just make rules to feel all important and stuff. It's really not cute. Not even a little bit.